Will from Macedonia
suffered anhedonia
in normal circumstances he would have thoroughly enjoyed the rhyme
but it was psychologically and emotionally impossible for him

Vern- what an angry poem! Only real poets can write of torment and you are a very rare modern example. I hope you don't think of yourself only as a tortured soul and I hope the very act of sharing your stunning writing eases your tragedy.

I know how hard it is to fight the cistern.

Simon

Hello Cate, I was thinking that sometimes being nervous makes an event even better. I can be nervous with excitement or nervous through fear. Most of the time these things come to a happy ending, sometimes a sticky ending but I can look back on the nerves and think "well, I did it". When i...

Alice, this is a well improved revision. I particularly like the end line of your part, "and our love ended with the summer". A season to everything? Do you mind me asking how old you were/are. And Rosie too. I look forward to you writing your further part in reply to Rosie's straight shoo...

This is a very moving poem , well thought through and tender. If it is a real life/death story and Cate hasn't said it is not then I find it much harder to suggest tweaks. After all, we are humans first and writers second.

Regards

Simon

Hi Lizzie, there's always a first thread. I guess if it interests you then it might be the spur to joining. I found this place during the NY ticket hunt but this was my first post. I don't know Alice and I'm not used to people undermining opinion by hinting all sorts of foul play- not the spirit of ...

Dear Alice, I rather agreed with you about the Sweater poem but I disagree with you here. Aaron marked his writing as "song lyrics" and "every time I look into your eyes" is certainly unoriginal but whereas it would be rather dull for a poem it is absolutely fine for a song IMO. ...

Simon Says lots of things but I can't actually speak for Alice! FWIW my own interpretation of "younger sky" is exactly what you suggested. He got his look and whoosh, back they went in time. First Love, or refound Love, the world looks different and the change of scene from Bar to the outs...

Cate wrote:Be careful

of people selling Ice Cream.
They'll steal your heart with
their purple eye shadow
and shameless sampling.


I also feel that I could write better, but I was distracted by some maple cream delight.

Hi Cate, Simon here. You write as if you have had an ice-cream "experience"!

Grecian man wrote:wind blows through bare trees
up his kilt he'll feel the same
we'll all be Scot free

we'll all be Scot free
and the Irish can now go
Bye bye Welsh, your turn

please note, I am NOT Anti-Brit, I have only travelled to Europe once and it was awesome!

Hi, Simon here. what a fun thread! I was wondering if Pinata Heart was actually my ex-boyfriend! (crosses fingers and hopes this is a Gay-Friendly community!) As to the poem, well done PH for the original. I do think that Alice's revision has many striking ideas. The rhythm of her second verse is ex...