roses of changes

[e^`]

Leave the dust on the offerings for roses of changes,
gardens of sand with the love that has made them.
The stones are praying in fire of morning
for children who know of this coming evening.

Leave me alone with my pride and my envy,
my blade for the bleeding of love from the promise.
In books they have damned me a soldier of any,
in words they have sworn me to ashes and toil.

After the silver refrain of the singing,
the thorn of the rose sleeps in dust and betrayal.

Sadly the fields do not lend for the touching,
sadly they break in the breeze of the kneeling.

I, in repose for the morrow of ages,
to embrace the light of love through the valley.
Beauty she sleeps with the roses of changes,
always with reverence to birth of the morning.

[e^`]

I am a bit disappointed. I value the crit of you all. This site tends to never give a negative reply of poetry, which is very kind, but not constructive. No reply feels much worse than negative feedback.

To my friends here, I have changed my name because of privacy fears, but my signature remains the same.

Oh well...

[Makera]

Yes, ep ~
Works both ways doesn't it?
Sorry, we haven't become aquainted but you are discovering this is a bit of a wasteland for poets....that's why I commune with poets on Allpoetry. If you really want feedback, that's a good place to go.

By the way, I really liked your poem...nothing to 'crit'.

~ Makera

[George.Wright]

e^`, cool piece of work. Overall i like it. I agree with the lack of feedback being a bummer.
Georges

[Byron]

I like it. It has an almost 4th person removed feel to it. An ageless spectator's 'take' on the passages of times, which progress at different rates for each earthly component. How's that do yer ep?

[e^`]

Thanks you all. Fourth person... that is interesting, not intentional but very interesting.