Here it is, this translation:
[Elizabeth, thank you for the consultation
! All the rest may be wrong, though
… ]
If You Want
All of us need someone
We could love.
And if you want, you can come to love me.
And all of us need someone to beat,
To torture, mutilate, or even kill.
And if you want, you can do me in.
And all of us need at times
To cry into someone’s waistcoat,
And if you want, you can take mine.
And all of us need at times to be better than others,
More intelligent, more beautiful, and stronger than others,
And if you want, you can be better than me.
[
“to cry into smb.’s waistcoat” (it’s an idiom in Russian) = “to cry on smb.’s shoulder”. I don’t use a proper wording here since I wouldn’t like to deprive these lines of their light humour. And it’d be difficult to use a shoulder with a good effect here… “you can borrow my shoulder to cry on it…” hmm… 
]
But if all of us suddenly become somewhat better,
I'll give you a chance, and you'll be able to put up a fight.
I’ll make room for you behind my back.
So think, think, think what to do with me.
Think, think, think with your own mind.
We can drink together,
But we won’t sing together!
And all of us need at times to laugh at someone,
And if you want, you can jeer at me.
So cuckold me and sew a tale to me,
Come on, baby, don’t blow up my brains,
But if you want, you can blow up me.
[
an idiom “ to make smb. horned” (appr. ) is used here for “cuckold”; maybe “to sew a tale” is a kind of an idiom, too, I simply don’t know… Docck, do we have anything about tales in addition to “nakrutit’ hvost” and “vertet’ hvostom” 
? Don’t you know?
I’d say he meant here, as well, “you can make an animal of me and jeer at that” and also “make a devil of me”… just such a pun with those “horns and tales”. ]
And we need to gorge in order to live,
And we need to sleep o’ nights,
And if you want, you can sleep next to me.
And all of us need someone who’d love us,
Everyone needs someone who’d love,
And if you want, I’ll come to love you too.
[
i.e. “I’ll come to love you - in addition to all the rest who I love”]
But if all of us suddenly become somewhat better,
I'll give you a chance, and you'll be able to put up a fight.
I’ll make room for you behind my back.
So think, think, think what to do with me.
Think, think, think with your own mind.
We can drink together,
But we won’t sing together!
! And I think it must be ideal for the perfect wine tasting, as well 
.
!
