Leonard Signing 1500 copies

[lightning]

Can we imagine the internal monologue in Leonard's head as he signs 1500 books? For example:

" 1. Leonard Cohen. Hope they like it."
2. Leonard Cohen. Hope they read it."
3. Leonard Cohen. Hope they understand it."
4. Leonard Cohen. Blackened another page."...........

100. Leonard Cohen. Wonder who this is for?
101. Leonard Cohen. Wonder what she looks like.
102. Leonard Cohen. I don't care.
103. Leonard Cohen. Yes I do..........

500. Leonard Cohen. This is absurd.
501. Leonard Cohen. I can't go on.
502. Leonard Cohen. I have to.
503. Leonard Cohen. I have promises to keep.
504. Leonard Cohen. I hope I make money.
505. Leonard Cohen. I'm not supposed to think about that.
506. Leonard Cohen. I don't care.
507. Leonard Cohen. Yes I do..........

1494. Leonard Cohen...Jesus Christ.
1495. Jesus Christ.
1496. Jack the Ripper.
1497. What's in a name?
1498. What's my name?
1499. What's a name?
1500. Enlightenment at last!

[Tony]

Maybe he could write a book, or at least a poem, about the life affirming experience of signing his name so many times. At least a haiku, perhaps a sonnet, maybe even a villanelle.

[tomsakic]

1. Leonard Cohen. Hope they like it."
2. Leonard Cohen . Hope they read it."
3. Leonard Cohen. Hope they undertand it."
4. Leonard Cohen. Blackened another page."...........

100. Leonard Cohen. Wonder who this is for?
101. Leonard Cohen. Wonder what she look like.
102. Leonard Cohen. I don't care.
103. Leonard Cohen . Yes I do..........

500. Leonard Cohen. This is absurd.
501. Leonard Cohen I can't go on.
502. Leonard Cohen. I have to.
503. Leonard Cohen I have promises to keep.
504. Leonard Cohen I hope I make money
505. Leonard Cohen I'm not supposed to think about that.
506. Leonard Cohen I don't care.
507. Leonard Cohen Yes I do..........

1494. Leonard Cohen...Jesus Christ.
1495. Jesus Christ.
1496. Jack the Ripper.
1497. What's in a name?
1498. What' my name?
1499, What's a name?
1500. Enlightenment at last!

Ingenious #503 is a good one

[jarkko]

That's a really funny one, Thelma! I forwarded it to a bunch of people involved.

[UrPal]

My only comparable experience to book signing is signing letters and cheques daily in business and, in a social context, filling in the stubs on raffle tickets. My thoughts after filling in my name and address on a book of raffle ticket stubs are considerably less civil than indicated well before reaching double figures. This sounds like a test of endurance requiring a full and flowing inkwell and a decent sized blotter.

This is an e-mail to those on Marie Mazur's mailing list [the red highlighting is by me]:

Dear Friends,

..........If you order the book, you should receive notice within 24 hours about whether you have qualified to be one of the first 1500.....

mmm, what does one of them look like cos I sure ain't seen one?

[lizzytysh]

You outdid yourself on this one, Lightning . Classic ! I'm delighted to see that Jarkko shared it ~ you set up camp in Leonard's head and starting serving coffee on this one . Hilarious ~ they're all great . Red Needles all 'round . I hope Roshi was on someone's FW list .

Love,
Elizabeth

[lightning]

I wish someone would fix the typos: #3--"understand", 101--"looks", #1498 "What's". Glad that everyone had a good laugh .

[Kush]

Nice. Jack the Ripper especially so.

[Andrew McGeever]

1501. Enlightenment? Time for a cigarette.

Andrew.

[Kush]

Ha....I'd like to see the look on the person's face opening his/her copy of the Book of Longing expecting to see a personalized 'Leonard Cohen' written with a flourish and a "loving touch" and instead finds 'Jack the Ripper' accomanied by one of LC's less flattering self-portraits.......and preferably in red ink.

[valhoun]

I'm in the National Guard, so I might have drill the weekend of the book signing. But, if I don't, I guess I'll have no choice but to drive from Pennsylvania to Toronto. It's a short 16 hours .

[lizzytysh]

Welcome back to the Forum, Valhoun !

Please be aware, however, that it's not a public book signing that we're parodying here. In Toronto, Leonard won't be signing any books... however, you apparently will be able to meet him. That, in itself, would be worth the short, 16-hour drive. Time becomes so relative. I hope you go and will report back on the madness at the corner of Bay and Bloor . You had faith in Leonard back in May 2005 ~ it looks like you'll have the opportunity to observe for yourself... in Toronto, at a concert, or both. [I plan to see Dylan in New Orleans... and Leonard, whenever, wherever.]

How are you situated in terms of being shipped to Iraq? Or any other land beyond our borders? I hope you'll be Stateside as long as possible. How long have you been in the Guard? What is your major in school?

~ Lizzy

[Dem]

That was funny indeed lightning

But he doesn't have to sign them all in one day, does he?

Actually he has almost two months time unti the day of...Enlightenment!

Dem

[jarkko]

Richard Cooper got this from Indigo:

We would like to apologize but the target has been reached for the signed copies of this edition (was reached at 2am on 26march2006), so regretfully your order will not be one of the signed editions of this book

.

This is funny because my order on March 27 was still confirmed on March 28!!!

[lizzytysh]

I wonder if it matters less what number you were than who you are... in special circumstances, such as yours, Jarkko. This, also, again, makes me wonder whether the cut-off was 1,000 or 1,500.

~ Lizzy