Daddy's Little Princess.

[Violet]

THIS [CONT'D] CAUTIONARY POSTING IS STILL CLASSIFIED.. [BLAH BLAH BLAH]..


LEONARD:

.. even fur-lined slippers could spell trouble..
.. (just realized that, actually)..

Signed,
V.I.P.

[Violet]

.. this is what you might call a youtube lunch sort of thing..

.. now, let's see.. nothing too much going on around Cumalot today.. all seems quiet-- well, maybe not quiet, exactly.. though uneventful.. oh, wait.. (I guess the only reason I've even caught up with him is that he has that broken leg, and so he's temporarily incapacitated, it seems.. I mean, how else could this have happened?)..

.. anyway.. I think I'll just sneak up on him and..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl0yPuI7 ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. sometimes all it takes is a brand new dress, and the world really does seem a bit brighter somehow..

[Violet]

[SENT SPECIAL DELIVERY]: Dear kw-- uh, baby bond bon.. I feel I'm losing direct contact with you, and that's not good.. Now, while it's true Agent Orange (whom you like to call Pussy Galore) has definitely improved her status by discovering that psychotic-squirrel training outfit, you're still my No. 1 agent, only don't tell A.O. or you'll undermine morale).. (actually A.O., don't tell b.b., but you've been moved up to the top slot).. [note to reader: I hate this job sometimes].. Oh, actually, just thought I'd mention.. I'm still pussy-napped, and believe my captors to be a set of squirrels.. at least, that's my sense of things, what with the blindfold, etc.. (what gives them away is that they seem twitchy, and like to chew an awful lot).. Now, what their plans are for me I have no idea.. I don't think they like MI6 very much either, so we might be in luck.. If I can land a few more B-2 bombers I imagine we could take care of the whole job at one fell swoop. That's the good news. The bad news is, due to their sharp little claws 'n teeth 'n things, they make a real lousy balloon folding act. Okay, that's all I got for now. Signed: M.


.. [Now back to the "author" of Violet, and her noirish life in Gotham]..

.. okay, well, I'm packing it in.. I can't help it if you brits are having to get up in a few.. that's your problem.. Me, I'm tired.. I got a lot of sleeping to do..

.. but first.. [actually, I really am considering being a torch singer.. it's sort of my plan C or D.. or E..].. [no F, probably]..

.. anyway, it's a little good-night/good morning number.. oh, and I'm keeping to the red lipstick for these.. (I'd say more, but I've sworn myself to secrecy.. so much so, that even I don't know what's going on anymore)..

.. okay, well.. g'night..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4-3puKUEHs
FULL SCREEN..

[kwills]

Pssst, M,Boss SPV,..er mama....I am doing my best to come and rescue you, hopefully by tomorrow I will be able to execute my brave and cunning plan,only I'm trying to come up with one at the moment.
I was thinking along the lines of using Agent Pussy Galore (I nearly choked on my bottle of gi...milk when she described herself as a VIRGIN!) as bait,seeing as the squirrels like to jump her so to speak.It seems she drives their nuts or do I mean drive them nuts.
Hmmm some potential there I think.

[Violet]

[SENT BY DOVE]: b.b.. I think your Pussy Galore plan might be a good tack, actually.. I was able to "peek" around here a bit, and you should see what these guys have all over the walls: pin-ups, as it happens, and these squirrel chicks are sporting what have got to be double f's.. (I mean, proportionately speaking, of course)..

.. by the way, I'm allowed just one cucumber a day, and they don't even care what I do with it.. I got so melancholy yesterday I actually had the urge to-- only, then I remembered how poorly that went that one time, and so I had it for lunch instead -- actually, sorry, you don't need to know any of this..

Oh, yeah.. I meant to tell you, kw-- uh, baby bond bon.. I'm re-thinking things as to this demon possession issue.. You see, you were conceived just at a time when dankish Georges (my then passionate, though not-very-present lover-- oh, and your dad, by the way) was serenading me with his classical guitar, and so he never cut his fingernails on one hand, and.. well he scratched me up pretty good one night.. Also, I was rather drunk, and I think I was having "furry" fantasies at that point too for some reason.. see, I'd just heard about the sickness, and so of course I found myself sexually aroused.. (you'll learn more about such things as you grow up, little one)..

.. okay.. oh, um.. hmm.. I guess I love you, b.b... I mean, even though you're a colossal *uck-up, you're still my baby, after all..
Signed, your mama, M. [xx]

[kwills]

Yep I think I'm on to something here.......

Agent O or agent Pussy Galore distracting the squirrels as I, Bond, Kwills IS Bond rescues M or boss or Sweet Princess V whichever you prefer.

I remember it well
In the Tower Hotel
You were giving your head
To the squirrels,
They were nibbling your ears
And pulling your hair
Whilst you were dreaming
Of hairy Ray Mears.


The squirrels had heard
Of your famous chest nuts,
So big and so round and so firm,
So excited they got
They actually forgot
SPV when she raised the alarm.


And you got away
Didn't you boss?
As I undid your restraints,
You got away
On brave Buckalot
Riding away in the night
You got away
On brave Buckalot
Such a beautiful sight.

[Violet]

.. I'll forward these new lyrics to Leonard ASAP.. It could spice up the show a bit, especially for those of us who have seen it now over a dozen times.. (something he might want to consider).. Hey.. are you saying my chestnuts are famous? (I assumed that distinction belonged to Lady Kissy K., or at the very least, Janis Joplin).. Anyway, all I remember was my telling my furry captors that I didn't like squirrels, and no, I would not make an exception..

.. oh, and I was making the unmade bed, and, believe it or not, wound up giving my head a real good bang again.. I can't remember a thing after that, but one of my captors looked sorely satisfied once I started coming to.. (or was it that he was coming to).. (or, uh, "too")..

.. anyway, now that I got away and have a well-trained army of them following me and my faithful Buckalot, I thought I'd try the first wild-nature trick Mr. Mears suggests here..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvRR5MTBBQI
FULL SCREEN..

.. (does he honestly think I'll be able to rig that up and have the thing work??).. (like that's gonna happen).. Oh, and it figures they're red squirrels.. (we're back to that Neo-Cold War scenario, looks like).. Oh, and eating the ex-queen's host of poison mushrooms in this rancid forest is not on my list of favorite things to do, either.. geez.. I mean I've done stupid things in my day, but that's-- hey, these ones actually look tasty.. and would be lovely with that fantasic trout I just managed to catch with my little tin can of Screaming Squirrel Ginger Ale.. (wonder where that came from)..

.. by the way.. Mr. Mears is obviously not a furry.. At best.. (or worst, depending on your take on these types of things).. he looks to be a de-frocked furry.. I've heard about those.. they're the most lewd, and an apparent embarrassment to the whole lot of them.. Jarkko is on his way to being de-frocked (or de-danger moused) if he's not careful.. Have you noticed, you can't even say hi to him anymore without him leering at you?.. okay, I was wearing my new deep-purple "royal" velvet panty-and-bra set the queen had given me, which, as I mentioned, does wonders for my decolletage.. oh, I also had this fur-lined coverlet over my shoulders.. I mean, it gets so cold up top the tower.. and anyway, it isn't every day the top moderator actually stops by, so I thought to impress him.. actually, I think he wanted to censure me in some way.. I mean, we do get a bit carried away sometimes on this thread.. but, as I said, he seemed taken by my new and scanty threads.. well, that combined with the fur-lined coverlet.. I mean, it was all I could do to politely suggest that he take his leave of me.. Oh, I mentioned to him the ex-queen's sauna, and all the s&mie stuff she's got in her torture/workout chamber, and that seemed to diffuse the situation.. I mean, given his being a fin 'n all.. He told me he'd be right back, and so I made sure to put an extra heavy lock on my door, but so far, I've not heard a squeak out of 'im.. Danger Mouse.. please.. my god, I have one horned-devil furryish fantasy.. (the night I conceived you, I mean.. my darling baby kwills) -- and now furries are literally coming out of the closet all around me.. (I mean, I knew we had a mouse problem in this old crumbling edifice of a castle, but this is ridiculous)..

.. anyway, b.b., thanks for saving your distraught mama.. especially since I was running out of inventive ways to make use of a cucumber..

.. so.. I guess for now, baby bond bon, you might help me rig those red squirrel traps.. oh, and you might try throwing some CocaCola cans around the place.. see, once they taste our kind of soda, well, next thing you know they'll sell their souls for some crappy American cheese and McDonalds.. it works every time, b.b.. JUST REMEMBER, this is a two (or three, maybe) pronged war we're manning: that of obliterating what's left of MI6, and that of capturing the heart, mind and soul of little red furry creatures -- oh, while infiltrating the deepest, lewdest passages of their "furries" underground.. I hear there's a great deal of dirt down there, so, as usual: keep it clean.. the last thing we need is an over-quiffed baby masquerading as some kind of ground hog or possum or something, and in that way attracting some untoward (or at least dirt prone) furry business.. I'm sorry, honey, but you'll need to wait 'til you're all grown up for that.. or at least able to manage a shovel..

.. okay.. over and out, for now..

.. signed,
your loving mother-uv-a boss,
M. x

[Violet]

.. [the author of Violet.. still in noirish Gotham.. mulling over a few things]..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3odtrWWc2A
FULL SCREEN..

.. okay, here’s the thing.. I mean, outside of the fact that this is one great movie (thanks to a fantastic screenplay with a complex back story, as well as a stellar cast) I’d still like to ponder a moment what's motivating its protagonist -- Bogey’s Mr. Monsieur “Rick”..

I mean, come on.. really.. the only reason he can even stomach helping his lovely love interest (Ingrid Bergman, at her most beautiful) to escape without him is the fact that, as of the night before, he now knows she still loves him.. and so.. well, now, it seems, they’ll go on loving each other unrequitedly ‘til the end of time, I guess in that foggy netherworld of black-and-white film noirdom.. I mean.. okay, the lovely lady’s hubby is a famed leader of the resistance ‘n all, and positioned to save the “free” world ‘n such.. but still.. give up Bogey??..

.. hmm.. what’s my point, exactly..

.. [uh.. moving right along]..

.. OKAY.. so.. as per the following little tune (for which I'm wearing more red than I ever thought advisable).. but, as per its lyrics, I can’t say I’m terribly interested in getting in the family way or anything.. (I mean, does the name “kwills” mean anything to you people???).. still, I have been feeling like hugging the furniture lately.. well, not the furniture exactly, but..

.. anyway, I guess it’s lucky I have this torch singing outlet, at least.. that is, if I finally decide to go with my “Plan F”..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TULYBRHBAs
FULL SCREEN..

[lonndubh]

Here’s one that was inspired by Byron’s ‘Girls night out’ thread, where the topic of little princesses was mentioned.

Daddy’s Little Princess.

Daddy, Daddy look at me! I have a brand new dress,
Mummy said to take it off before it is a mess,
You wouldn’t make me do that daddy, not your little girl,
I look just like a fairy… and she gave her dad a twirl.
He look into her big blue eyes, she knew he would be kind.
Keep it on for just a while I’m sure your mum won’t mind.

Daddy, Daddy look at me! I’ve got a leading part.
I’m better than the other kids, you told me from the start.
Daddy help me learn my lines, cause mummy doesn’t care,
And when we’ve finished doing that, then you can brush my hair.
He stopped what he was doing and he got up from his seat
And helped his princess learn her lines, she said them oh so sweet.

Daddy, Daddy look at me I’ve passed all my exams,
I’m going off to Uni now… You will give me a hand?
I’m going to need lots of cash; a car would help as well,
I don’t think mum is that impressed, no matter, what the hell.
He gave her everything she asked, he stood and waved goodbye,
She didn’t even notice when a tear fell from his eye.

Daddy, Daddy can you help I’m in an awful mess.
You see I need some money just to buy a new prom dress.
It may be quite expensive, as I have to look the part,
And you wouldn’t want your princess to have a broken heart.
He sent her cash, he sent her cards, he sent her blank signed cheques,
He didn’t get a thank you…or a letter… or a text.

Daddy got a phone call, and his face went ghostly white.
They’d found his little princess in the gutter Friday night.
He said it couldn’t be his child; she didn’t live like that,
He’d set her up in Brighton in a lovely little flat.
He knew she was a handful… but that is how she is.
There’s nothing his princess could do that he could not forgive.

They said she had been taking drugs, some heroin and hash.
They said that she’d been turning tricks to make some extra cash.
They took him to a viewing room; it all seemed such a blur.
They pulled the crisp white sheet away and asked if it was her.
He gazed down at his princess, her blue eyes firmly closed…

She wouldn’t have been lying there if Daddy had said NO!

I'm amused at how a thread starts and the many roads it takes along the way into many lands

[Violet]

Yep I think I'm on to something here.......

Agent O or agent Pussy Galore distracting the squirrels as I, Bond, Kwills IS Bond rescues M or boss or Sweet Princess V whichever you prefer.

I remember it well
In the Tower Hotel
You were giving your head
To the squirrels,
They were nibbling your ears
And pulling your hair
Whilst you were dreaming
Of hairy Ray Mears.


The squirrels had heard
Of your famous chest nuts,
So big and so round and so firm,
So excited they got
They actually forgot
SPV when she raised the alarm.


And you got away
Didn't you boss?
As I undid your restraints,
You got away
On brave Buckalot
Riding away in the night
You got away
On brave Buckalot
Such a beautiful sight.

.. [hi l.].. kw-- uh, baby bond bon.. I re-read your poem, and realize now that you were talking about Lady Kissy K.'s chestnuts.. (n'est pas?).. I'm sorry, I need to read a bit more carefully next time.. I guess I'm just stressed, actually..

.. anyway, I'm back up the tower where a team of heavily armed squirrelie snipers are outside taking pot shots at my window.. So far

.. okay I need to lay low.. hopefully I can sleep--

Oh.. actually, to go with Casablanca, I just saw a Hedy Lamarr & Charles Boyer film from 1938 called "Algiers".. I was really drawn in.. It was all about Boyer, a holed up criminal in the Casbar.. I'm not normally a Charles Boyer fan, but I thought he was quite good in this role.. and I thought the sets quite good.. though it's such an old film, probably poorly mastered, and so it's rather grainy.. but somehow that works.. and Hedy Lamarr is a real stunner.. and so it is quite funny he says she reminds him of the subway.. well, at least it's the Paris subway.. I guess it's that she reminds him of all the little things in Paris he used to love.. and somehow this part of the dialogue rings true for him I think.. it's rather tender seeming..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYN27_JDDMU
FULL SCREEN..

night.. oh, and good morning to you brits,
v. x

[Cate]

I am amazed by how many films I have never seen - I have a very long list of ones that would like to see.

Now in regards to Mr. Mears Squirrel trap
they dry out their mushrooms? ... they dry out their mushroom and somebody comes along, steals one and uses the little guys own mushroom to set up a trap to smush him - okay that ... is sick
..... I wonder if he's looking for a job ... if we put a bottle of gin, I mean milk, under one big stick and a pretty blue spiked shoe under another stick.... hummmm....

Sauna's ... (I have a joke but somebodies bugging me - I'll come back)

added later

I'm a little concerned about all this junk food the squirrels seem to be eating - squirrels are squirreley (sp) enough without all that extra sugar!

Silly but cute sauna joke ... since sauna's were mentioned - I didn't even realize we had one

3 WOMEN IN A SAUNA

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND
THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.

"THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT... I'M GETTING A FAX!!

[Violet]

.. yes, I was also quite impressed that these red squirrels dry out their own mushrooms.. I mean, they're likely to be gourmet chefs, if that's any indication.. hmm.. may have to re-think my angle on them.. they could be up for a cooking show, maybe.. with a little soft shoe thrown in..

.. okay, back to, uh, work (believe it or not)..

[Karren B]

Ok residents of Kissingham Castle…just trying to catch up with all the goings on round here…been a bit tied up lately, (told the King not to tie those ribbons so tight and then go off on one of his nights out with the boys!) so I haven’t been around Cumalot recently….

Right kwills about your brave and cunning plan…now using the lovely innocent Kissy K as bait just wasn't playing cricket…and as for the virgin bit…What the King wants the King gets…so keep it zipped! (By the way I’m beginning to wish I’d never told you lot about that squirrel attacking me!).

So your plan to rescue Princess Violet may have worked Baby bond,(ok you had to get it right eventually) but what am I going to do to amuse all these squirrels?…
Oh Bond maybe you should get a job with Leonard as a lyricist when you grow up!!!! Or even now!… He could pay you in rusks…

Queen cate (deceased)…Do you really think I’d fall for the pretty blue stiletto trap… Baby bond might be tempted with the bottle of gi…milk…but he’ll suck on anything! They’d have to be at least a pair of Christian Lacroix for me to take the bait…

Violet, that Ray Mears character is quite good…I hear he makes a good blowpipe…though he shouldn’t be killing red squirrels….Just those pesky little American grey ones…

And I wouldn’t be too impressed with those squirrels, if they were gourmet chefs they’d be using liquid nitrogen to dry their mushrooms.(Ok Heston. If I’d wanted 4 restaurants owned by the same person on my doorstep I’d move nearer a McDonalds!).

Hope the wedding planning is going well Princess V…although I suspect it may be a verrrrrrry long engagement!!!!! Oh and don’t ask Heston to do the catering…His medieval banquets take a lot to be desired…(Celebrity doth not maketh a chef!).

Must go now and get back to my royal duties…

Will you stop that King G…I told you not until the wedding night…I mean it…I wont give in…there is nothing you can do to make me….Oh my!…Maybe just the once…Or twice!!! …Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… Night, Night Cumalot……

Lady Kissy K
xx

[Violet]

.. (hey Lady Kissy K.. glad you and the king are getting it on-- I mean getting on okay.. (as it were).. I'll have to think more about the wedding reception.. something more white leather, as opposed to Lux and his, well, thing-a-ma-jig.. swinging around.. (I sort of realized that might not be appropriate somehow.. although this is Cuma-- oh, never mind).. [xx].. (by the by, who's Hector??)..

.. [Violet, still atop her tower, distracts the red squirrel snipers outside with Coke ‘n Planters Peanut packages.. meanwhile, it seems she's having some trouble with her writing].. [let's listen in on her thoughts]..

.. gosh, I was hoping to make this a happy romantic tale, for a change.. but things are going tragic on me -- yet again.. I guess it’s that-- oh, never mind..

.. anyway, it’s too bad.. they made such lovely lovers, I thought..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU1zJofOY60
FULL SCREEN..

.. then again, Bill has a thing for tragedy, so I might still be in good standing.. good thing too.. I’ve been so down feeling, but at least now I’ll be able to afford at the very least one Strumpet & Pink erotic panty fantasy to keep me going as I try to write myself out of my mess-of a-life right now.. so, things are looking up, in that respect.. I just have to keep on ploughing forward, and try to not think too much.. that's where I always get in trouble..

.. [Violet takes up her quill, commencing to write]..

.. a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.. just as violets, were they not violets called, deny their sweet perfection thou wouldst not..

.. hmm.. I think I’m on to something..

[Violet]

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLWPg3SCYH4
FULL SCREEN..






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