Boss wrote:Cate,
This is the end of 'closing time'.
Adam
But what would I know?
------
In late December 1991 Jackie and I were laying in bed. I told her a loose story about Puddle. Over the new year and into January we holidayed in Beenleigh, Queensland. Here, I wrote the following poem. I was 23. I posted it on LCF on November the 12th 2005.
Puddle
One fine spring day a seed fell from a tree
And lodged in the warm earth
With nature's help the tree slowly took shape
It enjoyed the nutrients of the soil
It grew
In time it became a majestic tree
Thriving with Life
Its arms stretching
Reaching
In all directions
The tree didn't understand itself
Or its surroundings
This tree was itself
And its surroundings
It didn't articulate abstract thought
It had no need
It breathed
And was
Life
One dark misty day
Two foreign animals arrived
They carried with them complex metallic machines
With the pull of a cord
Their machines began to roar
The song of the forest
The insects
And birds
The melody of wind and leaves
Was suffocated by the invading whine
The strange animals lifted their machines
And cut
And they cut deep
And they cut hard
They sliced and cut and butchered
Finally murdering the tree
It creaked
Groaned
And then toppled
The earth took the thud of the tree with grace
It consoled its fallen hero
And remembered the effort they both put in
To see the tree rise to such beauty
The earth wept
Although the tree's umbilical cord had been severed
Something in it still lived
Something was there
A murmur
A whisper
A restless shrug
Something
The animals with machines of many forms
Took the tree from its womb the forest
Loaded it on to a vehicle
and drove it to what was known as a 'mill'
The tree
As if somehow knowing its fate
Slid obediently through a saw
Its very make-up
Very form
Was split into geometric shapes
It lay still as its being was ripped apart
By the great steel teeth
The one was no more
Only a series of parts
Fragments of its former self
One section did not cut into the desired shape
It was sent to another mill across the river
Here it was mashed up into smaller and smaller pieces
Eventually becoming as dust
This dust was carefully mixed with water and dye
A paste was formed
Soon this paste was rolled out and dried
Into long sheets of what the animals called 'paper'
Then, systematically
The sheets were cut and sliced
Into smaller sheets
All identical in size
All the same
The sheets were stamped with ink
Parallel lines from top to bottom
Groups of fifty were collected
Then packed into plastic slips
Finally being sent to a place called 'The City'
Even with all the transfiguration
Something still slept in the paper
Two days later an animal living in The City went hunting
He came across a store where a fifty-pack was laying
He took it
The fifty-pack spent some time in the animal's desk
In blackness
Until one day the animal opened the drawer
Took out the pack
Ripped off the plastic cover
And set all fifty pages on his desk
He straightened them
Not once but twice
Took out his pen
Rearranged his glasses
Lifted his hand
And wrote his name
'The Author'
At the completion of this
Something inexplicably gave way
Every particle in the sheet of paper exploded
As if from deep slumber
It too was The Author
What The Author wrote, the paper was
Or so he thought!
As he penned the last line
Eager to turn to a fresh page
He noticed something quite startling
The first line of words on the page
was disappearing
It was as if the page wanted 'The Author'
to write some more
In his amazement, he pressed on
One line disappearing as one was written
On and on it went
The Author writing an immense story
On the one sheet of paper
Page became Author and Author page
Years went by
The Author telling the story
The page obeying his dictates
Until one night
In the depths of darkness
A word somehow slipped off the page
The story had changed
The page had changed it
Alone
On its own
It pushed again
Two more words were ejected
Once again the page pushed
Once again the story changed
These primitive pushes continued
Soon half the words
Half the instructions
Half the rules
Were gone
The instinctive urge grew
The pushing more frenetic
Furious
Words spurted and flew from the page
Landing dead-like on the desk
The floor
The page was in agony letting go
In ecstasy with each push
Intuition being its only guide
The ordeal was over
Only a dull brown page was left
The page lay helpless
exhausted
and naked
Every particle was exposed
It lay;
free of the shackles that so restrained it
No cage of lines
No prison of words
No clothing of dye
He lay;
breathing in life for the first time
Exultant that every way he turned
was his way
Jubilant that he could enjoy his nakedness
Without anyone's scarring
Now he could manufacture his own thought
He lay
on the desk
in bliss
The Author came in early next morning
Eager to continue his story
To his dismay
He saw only the blank paper
Where was his story?
He reckoned he'd misplaced it
He searched the desk
the study
the house
the garden
The page knew The Author would be back
And again the story would start
Imprisoning him
He had to get away
For his own Life
His own story
But how would he go?
He thought of every thought he knew
He thought still more
Sadly, no thought would help
He lay there lifeless
Thinking without motion
Then he reflected on the removal of The Author's words
How had he done this?
He couldn't remember
As no thought was involved
Somewhere deep within his being
Something lit up
He knew that thought wasn't the key to his escape
It was a lock
The key was him
All of him
The page released all his thoughts
He watched them sail
Watched them fly
Into the nothingness
He became without thought
Instinctively pushed
And,
like lightning
He was transformed into a slippery brown puddle
Now if he desired movement
The puddle would move
He retrieved his thoughts
And knew his name to be 'Puddle'
"I must go, but where?" said Puddle
"I must go but I'm frightened
Should I go? The Author made life easy
I must go as he'll be back soon
Oh help
I'm scared being capable
Let me sleep
Let The Author's life be mine"
"PUDDLE LIVE PUDDLE LIVE OPEN YOUR SOUL
AND TAKE OFF LIVE LIVE PUDDLE LIVE"
With this glow from his centre
He slid to the floor
To the window
Outside
Across the garden
To freedom
Puddle continued his journey through The City
He visited many places of interest
And was impressed
Yet, all the while
Something was dragging him
He knew not what
To the river
He entered it
Pushed upstream
Past the paper mill
Past the saw mill
Towards something
Puddle slipped out of the river to rest
"What am I doing here?" his mind asked
"You are where you are" his soul answered
His heart replied "Let yourself go here Puddle
Enter your earth; Seep in and become one with Life"
Next to the stump of an old tree
Is a shoot reaching for the sun
It has broken through
and knows where it is