Melbourne Story

[Boss]

Hi Cate - thanks for your reply.

I rang G-d early this afternoon. After a couple of engaged signals, I got thru. He listened cordially, then answered, "Look at your depth now - there was reason. Sometimes it is at the absolute brink of disaster that you know me. Think of it." He told me that was the best he could muster at this point in time.

I like the word 'courage'.

Adam

[Boss]

Thursday the 14th

12.35pm in the bar again. Music not too good. Feeling comfortable. Order my customary orange juice. I order without ice. It has been cool in old Melbourne town of late. Not too sure why. Leonard's concert number one now done and dusted - Sydney next. G-d is everywhere, Cate. In the moon, an African jungle, in these electrons and protons and neutrons helping transmit this message. But he is more. Two things my mother taught me - faith and compassion - he is that. And he is all the pain one can know or know of. He knows the nail driving into Yeshu'a's hand, he is there in a puppy crying in abandonment, he knew Hiroshima, even Shoah - he knew it a billion years ago. The question is why did such things happen? I look in the mirror here in my little pub and catch a glimpse of my Shaddai necklace - the Hebrew so ancient. It burns into my chest. And I know that there is meaning. That chaos theory is good just to compare things, sort it all out. He knows, he runs it. We can try to alter things - he already knows. We have free will, but he knows it in advance. There is this symphony, this dance between G-d and Us. Always has been. There will indeed be peace, this he has promised to the ancient ones, to a few of us. It comes in drips and drabs, in a torrent. The man who swears he knows the exact mechanism of things is a liar. Let G-d's will be. All our efforts against it are ineffectual. But in loving, this can only hasten the day. I don't think we will ever fully understand evil and calamity and suffering - some things are mystery; things only G-d can know. But I think we can grow in spite of it. And I think we will learn to say 'Never again' to violence, hatred, murder. Only in love do we know the Eternal.

[Boss]

I wrote this a little while ago:

Summer

It's getting kinda late now
The big guns all around
With the cat out of the bag
I am off to Brisbane town

I leave behind my comfort
Done and dusted my settee
The memories of an old dog
Him barking at the sea

I'll be a modest swagman
Used matilda on my back
I'll see a city, hear the noise
The songs that will attack

This message is implicit
Like all the folk heroes
It's for people of my ilk
Our rich and nasty foes

As Sacred dies to greed
By reasons all foretold:
It is power, it is wealth
It is faith out of control

I am ready for the war
Not down on any count
I will battle, I will win -
The future left no doubt

You come to me by now
As light as any breeze
I am here all summer long
'Til the equinox recedes

It is written, it is said
If we tend to ev'ry soul
A Covenant will arise
Where evil plays no role

Some men rely on gossip
Some cling to lawless codes
But the truth is in the offing
See, a king is down the road

So if you've waited ages
Down centuries of the past
Dip your lid and fill your cup
G-d's peace is here at last

Adam

[Cate]

Thursday the 14th

12.35pm in the bar again. Music not too good.

I love this whole piece Adam,
especially this part

Leonard's concert number one now done and dusted - Sydney next. G-d is everywhere, Cate. In the moon, an African jungle, in these electrons and protons and neutrons helping transmit this message.

I hope that one day we will learn enough to say goodbye to war and violence as well.


I see you have two concerts coming up Boss - I hope you have a good time! Leonard is smart heading for the land of late spring while we rush towards winter.

[Boss]

Thanks Cate.

The cars glide by, hundreds of em. In order, this order. Like ants - all with purpose. None of them see me. I go inside. I still hear them. Thousands roll by into the freeway. In line. Oh, the cars glide by in neat procession of piston and rubber and metal.

The forest is dead.

[Boss]

Friday the 15th - 4.08pm

Just got back from my first ever visit to a mosque. I am delighted. I knelt down on the beautiful carpet as far as I could and said a prayer or four. No one was there. It had a different atmosphere than the Greek church I was in this morning. So much space, this square space. Very bare, like a synagogue but with Arabic writings. I took my shoes off, turned my phone off and prayed. I was hesitant, a bit nervous, but it was okay. I will go again hopefully when there are lots of people. G-d is One. He is pure love. And he is in all of us.

Peace,
Adam

[Boss]

Intelligence doesn't always befriend love - compassion does.

[Boss]

For You, Mate

I think of you Jez
How you never saw this day
How you're with me still
On and on

And it is you
In the pigeon coo
It is you in the wind

If I do it at all
I do it with you

[Boss]

Tuesday 12.54pm

Melbourne town has warmed up - 30 today. Caught a tram for the first time in probably 25 years to The Melbourne General Cemetery. I went there many years ago with Jackie and Mum. I looked through the fence at all the old grave sites and just thought, 'Nah'. I walked to my old university. Had a tonic water in my old local (for 3 months anyway). It was an 'Archy' pub. I studied Architecture. Most of the kids knew wealth. I hated it. I came from a different world. Most pleasant part of my time at Melbourne was The Clyde. It has been modernised, but still a pleasant ambience. Leonard and co must be in Melbourne. Welcome. I wish you the very best. I am a little nervous - that is an understatement. Sharon, my mum and brother and I really look forward to Alexandra Leaving. Leonard and co, let's see what happens, hey?

Thru the fear of it all,
Adam

[imaginary friend]

Hello Boss,

I've enjoyed and appreciated reading your poems and musings posted recently on this thread.

I like the word 'courage' too. It's much more hopeful than 'fear'... even though both exist alongside each other...

I hope the Melbourne concert fills you up – heart, spirit and soul.

[abby]

I have also been reading this thread every couple days & enjoying your messages. It doesn't often occur to me to say as much, though. I was never very good with people but getting better .

[Boss]

Wednesday the 20th

'Courage' is more hopeful, imaginary. Thing is, I've spent many years cooped up, away from the noise - developed a bit of social unease, a little fear. It actually began on a kibbutz in the Galilee in 1993. Nother story. abby, I am not so crash hot with people, either. I'm very sensitive. But, like you, I'm getting better. Assertiveness helps me.

Being amongst so many tonight will test me. But I am determined to brave it and enjoy. Thank you both for your replies. I hope what I write is food for thought. I try and write with purpose, I try and write my truth and I try and write always in reverence to the Eternal.

Shine on Mr Cohen, cool day - 19 degrees. Just right,

Adam

[Boss]

It is 12.21am on Thursday the 21st of November. I just witnessed Leonard Cohen and his cool band. His voice was unbelievable - he really sounded so good. My seat was much closer than last time and I had an aisle - good for a big man like me. They were very tight - years of practice. They played The Future and Going Home. I thank them all. I was pretty strong throughout. An amazing night. Thanks.

Adam

[Boss]

In A House Where Everyone Is Happy

It is possible, I kid you not - such a place exists. There is no depression or psychosis. There is only harmony. Living here is difficult. You expect a bad word, a slanging match, pain. But it doesn't occur! Only kindness and good child-rearing practice. Even the dog is perfect. You may think I'm having a lend of you. The horror is that I'm not. Such a place exists.

I never knew this tranquility. I knew revenge, infidelity - first to my Mum then my own lover. I knew mental illness in my brothers, in me, death and illness and downright hate. Oh yeah, in my place there was a touch of alcoholism and hard drug addiction, too. 

Leonard, I think it is nigh impossible for one from such an inauspicious background as mine to be successful at anything. Such a man cannot, even with the best intentions, do much at all. It is with these thoughts in mind, and after considerable consideration, I gotta tell you, I quit. This contract is for a sinless, healthy soul - not a broken down bum like me. This contract is for a happy, perfect soul - not a misery guts like me. There are just so, so many people who are better equipped, more wonderful than me. They think better, feel better, and look better. Even pretend better. I am a sack of fear, I'm just not strong enough. Who do I go into battle for? No one or nothing will listen. I am not eloquent, not sharp enough. Let me slink back into my hole and end this charade. I've fucking had it, mate. At the end of my tether. Let some strong, perfect, successful person carry the weight. Just let me go, just leave me alone. I once wanted it so bad back in '88 I would have done anything. On that kibbutz, in the institutions, my 20 year exile of silence - I wanted it. Today, I only know fear - crippled by it. Oh, someone wave a magic wand, invoke the Spirit of a merciful G-d, just do anything. This very common man is so afraid, so lonely.

Alright damn it, I'll try.

Good Shabbos,
Adam

[Boss]

I got up and I did try. I went to the mosque, took off my thongs, knelt on the carpet and talked to G-d. I asked him to send peace. No one there, but still a holiness. Then I tried two churches - Greek and Catholic (I think). Both locked tight. You'd reckon a house of G-d would be open all hours. Bought a sausage roll and chocolate Big M. For most of the time I was walking etc. I had My Sweet Lord by George Harrison open for anyone to hear on my I-phone. In fact it is still on! My I-phone, like many of my belongings, is a hand-me-down. I got the phone from an older brother. He is seven years older than me so I inherited his music, too. I like it, I was brought up with it - he even has a little Leonard. Temperature is mild, really nice actually. I hope Leonard and all find a sweetness in Newcastle. I hope you embrace the Eternal.

Shalom,
Boss