Melbourne Story

[Boss]

8.04pm Well and truly into Shabbat

Sitting in the little bar listening to 'Total Eclipse Of The Heart' and now something unknown. Ya gotta give it a chance. What is it all about? My old man said it was about fucking, this 'sweet fucking'. I hate to tell him (cos he's dead) but I haven't been in that caper for a very, very long time - ah, so maybe that is my problem. There's more to it. There is our existence on the physical plane but I'm sure there is more. Barriers are broken down when you make love - that is a given. But when you 'know' G-d something is released. I wish I knew it more. Afraid I'm not a wonderful example - but I try. I know He looks out for me and for this I am truly grateful. Ah, what does it matter anyway? Leonard, feels like I'm on a cusp - just wanna go over the edge into the valley, into the lion's den. When does it happen, has it already happened? You know a man can wait and wait only so long. It's time for recompense. Now, brother, now. It's time for Covenant, too. And it is time for Freedom.

Mat, I wrote the above before I knew you had come. I thank you for reading my banter. I tried the Hindu link but my I-phone couldn't manage it. I did, however, get the Tim Winton book 'Eyrie'. I left it in Melbourne, it is a damn heavy book. I found what I read quite dark but I will finish it once I get home. Funny how Life is, the little things that just go your way. Think I'll take the photo down.

Stay honest,
Boss

[Cate]

Hi Adam, Happy Chanukah!

You look very similar to how I would have thought but a bit younger. You have a very friendly face. It must feel a bit odd to be in a place with so many mixed memories Boss - I hope you make man new ones and enjoy your concert.

You mentioned John Lennon's Imagine before - here is a picture of his memorial at central park taken on the morning of my last Leonard Cohen concert.

20130407_164405.jpg (60.38 KiB) Viewed 3745 times

[Boss]

John Lennon - what a person.
Seeing LC in New York - what a way to go.
You reckon that is how I should have looked?
This is me in my recent stay in Melbourne:

Taken probably last week

I really wish Leonard and all involved the very best for tonight's show. On a personal level, I didn't come all this way to Brisbane to just smell the roses. Whatever you guys do tonight, you could even sing a Dylan song, it would be alright with me.

Peace now,
Boss

[Boss]

7.21pm

Sitting outside the Entertainment Centre. Nervous as anything. People filing in. It is warm but pleasant. Can't really believe or understand what I'm doing here. But hey, I am. I should make the most of it.

7.57pm

I'm on the floor about 25 metres from the stage. This'll be good. Never thought the seat was so good. Come on Lenny, get on mate!

9.33pm

Half time. It is so much more real on the floor, close up. Once again The Future got me good. It has all been electric - I can understand people paying a million dollars for a front row seat. Leonard is in good form, kinda like old friends in this city I know no one. Someone familiar at least. I don't think there are any changes to recent set lists. But I'm just thinking and loving every bit.

11.44pm

I'm home. Took cabs to and back. I missed a few songs at the encore in the effort to get a cab. It went very smoothly and I'm glad of my choice. The second set was, I think pretty much akin to Melbourne. Once again I thought Sharon was brilliant on Alexandra Leaving. They were all brilliant, Leonard seemed in good spirits. I apologise for leaving early - I didn't want to wait for a cab til breakfast. That's it. I don't know if I'll ever see him again but I know one thing - I think I am the proudest man in Brisbane tonight. It's not everyday an agoraphobic flies 2000 km and goes to an auditorium with 10000 people. And does it alone. And actually enjoys it. Thank you Leonard Cohen for your help. G-d I love me.

[Boss]

3.58pm Sunday the 1st

Quiet day. Found a park nearby with seats. What am I gonna do now? Things aren't Leo centric as has been the case since July-August. I got to find a regular life, do the normal thing. G-d that was good last night, though. Fantastic, I could see his mouth move. Move on, to where I do not know. Think I'll have pizza tonight. There's a thought.

5.38pm

I think what I'm doing is acclimatizing to just being alone. In Melbourne I had family for 2 1/2 weeks. For the past 5 days I've had no one (except Leonard!) It has been a gradual thing. I must admit you can get lonely. Every part of you just wants to reach out and connect, but when you're shy that is not so easy. Not sure what I'm learning thru this but something will come up - it always does.

6.20pm

Pizza was average - some Supreme thingamejig. Filled a hole I guess. G-d last night was special. I did it, can't believe it that I did. They were on fire. The whole place was alive. It lifts you out to another orbit, another zone. I got more time here, but what to do?

[Boss]

1.12pm Monday

At a Seventh Day Adventist Church - it is closed. Wouldn't you believe someone might want to come in? By the river, it is wide and brown. Lotsa traffic and bridges. Warm again but not too bad. I'm sitting in an island of green surrounded by black tar. I have trees - native - and I have grass. What more could you dream of? I even have warm water. But I don't have her.

There is a beautiful breeze blowing about. The red digital sign says 27 degrees. I like this place, this nook. I think I pretty much like Brisbane too. I always liked it. Reminds me of Jack.

Back home. What exactly are Seventh Day Adventists anyway? Had a quick Google - I may go on Saturday to celebrate the Sabbath. Mmmm, why not? It's all G-d is it not? I'll try and do it - might get kicked out. Probably will. Then again

I hope you still dance, Jackie. The time only gets closer; as every second passes.

[Boss]

Who am I?
Nobody
Just some lost fucker
Who enjoys Streisand
And Diamond
Phil in the air tonight
The memories of dead siblings
The taste of Coke
Chips, burgers
One who believes
That the chosen ones
Are those who choose
Themselves

[Cate]

Churches often close here on Mondays as well.

I guess god gets tired from all of the once a week followers who overwhelm him on the weekend and then make a mess during the week. You know the bible clearly states that on the last day he rested and yet that is the very day that everyone bothers him with all of their pulling and tugging. (I hope you don't find me flippant - I'm not religious, but do have a great respect for those who try to live by their beliefs)

Yep, I reck'n you look how you should look and will look even more like you should look as you get older. I'm not sure what Seventh Day Adventists believe but it would be interesting to find out. I hope you let us know if you visit.

[Boss]

Not sure I'll go - but you never know. I liked how their Sabbath was Saturday.
Funny with photoes, you can look 'different' in different shots!

Tuesday 10.38am

Just in my room, nothing much to do, no splinters of truth to elaborate on. Listening to Rod Stewart - Maggie May. A little tired but good. Trying to drink water compared with Coke. A Beatles track, Here Comes The Sun. George Harrison at his best. What a band. I missed it all. Particularly like All You Need Is Love. Something about it - you dig? Now an Aussie band called The Flowers circa 1983 - Can't Help Myself. Bloody good song. If there was one song you would choose for your epitaph what would it be? Me, personally, The Future or Imagine or quite possibly In The Afternoon by Van Morrison. Just Like A Woman would get a look in, too.

Be good,
Boss

[Boss]

2.21 pm

In the city CO bad in my lungs. We breathe it, we make it - pollution and all that jazz. It is warm, it is Brisbane. High rises, lights, cabs. I retreat to the park. Even in this semblance of green you find more peace. Calm. I've been outta town so long, far too long. But something strange happened. In amongst the dirt and dead leaf two birds with long bills/beaks were turning up the soil in search of probably worms - I have never seen them before. But two little sparrows or the like kept bombing them! They must have been a quarter of their size. Gutsy little fellas. And the bigger birds they took notice! You never can tell. In this case, size didn't matter.

Home now, got more time than the Bronze Age with no one to relate to. Nothing's gonna happen, nothing at all. It is said that G-d can work in strange ways. I'm at a guess that He would be working at a spectacular rate of knots for any of my dreams to come true.

More later,
Boss

[Boss]

To fend off acute loneliness I have begun reading The Bible. I'm up to Genesis 13. Not sure how far I'll get.

In peace,
Boss

[Boss]

This is for me. What am I trying to achieve here? What's the bottom line? What is it exactly that I want to do? I don't like shopping, I don't like cities much, I hate small talk so what am I doing here? Come so far to just be alone? Does this torture mean something? I'm not going out Leonard. It was enough I got to two of your concerts. There is nothing now. I have got not one plan, not one iota of a plan. Granted, I believe in His will, but for the life of me I cannot see anything remotely meaningful in the near future. Nothing whatsoever talks to me except my own will - a will so torn and tired. A will so very misunderstood. Another night comes and yes, I'm still waiting for that miracle to come. I just don't know. Hope you're knocking their socks off at Wollongong.

It's funny, I hardly think of her now. I've blocked her all out. Like she doesn't exist. Don't even dream of her lately. Nothing.

Adam

[Boss]

8.24am Thursday the 5th

I blocked her out because she hurt me, come on Adz. She bloody hurt me. So I put her into a slot that cannot hurt anymore. I've just denied she exists. And this denial has gotten stronger and stronger as I face the immensity of what's been done. I now accept that two people who love one another have denied it all for 21 years because of pride, bloody pride. She thinks she's done the proper, correct thing. But she knows deep inside that we are soul mates; and always will be. Thing is, I'm getting on - so is she. How many more years will she waste, and how many will I wait? How many years will we both deny each other and try and make it on our 'own'? There is a truth written in life that each of us has someone special. I know, I know sometimes a person can wait their whole lives, but I still believe the absolute right partner is there for each of us. And yes, sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to thin air. But hey, I like fairy tales; don't you?

[Boss]

Mashiach

"G-d
batten down the hatches
show us how it's done
mention all the prophets
the dead, the living ones
open out your sanctity
cut it fine and cut it sure
believe in all the broken
in the wasted and the poor

G-d
lighten every load
the money at an end
ease the tribulation
as only you can send
convert our buckled day
as we will end the war
to reach the peace instilled
in hearts for evermore"

[Boss]

Shabbat Eve, 6th December
11.32am

Nearly threw the towel in, nearly booked a ticket home. Still here in all my anonymous glory. Don't know what's holding me back here. Could it be pride or some other attribute. Maybe it is just to learn discipline if nothing else. Control over emotions, just irrational thought. You gotta push, you gotta believe. That is key - just believing. I'm going to perform a simple Shabbat service in my room tonight and I don't care who sees or hears. Shabbat is a time for me to thank the L-rd G-d for all this life. It also reminds me of the magnificent Future to come.