Nonsense rhymes

tom.d.stiller · Post by **tom.d.stiller** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 10:29 am

"I didn't write that," wrote our Jo.
"No I never wrote that, no, no, no"
But the avatar proved
that her fingers had moved
the keys that flattered us all so.

tom

(sorry Jo.. I had to use your name to make it rhyme )

Andrew McGeever · Post by **Andrew McGeever** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:18 pm

Dear all,
LaurieAK mentioned Ogden Nash in a recent post. By coincidence (?) The Herald (which has been known to publish some of my own scribblings) presented 3 short poems by Nash last Thursday....

Reflections on Ice-Breaking

Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker

Requiem

There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez
When comment arose
On the state of her clothes
She drawled, When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez!

The Turtle

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
which practically conceals its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
in such a fix to be so fertile.

Andrew.

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Sun Feb 20, 2005 8:32 pm

I think Nash is very funny. (So is that Spike fella!)

I have my brick of a book full of Nash stuff here from looking for gnu gpoems.

here are a few Nash animal dittys:

The Camel

The camel has a single hump;
The dromedary, two;
Or else the other way around.
I'm never sure. Are you?

The Canary

The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they're moulting
They're pretty revolting.

The Rhinoceros

The rhino is a homely beast,
For human eyes he's not a feast.
Farewell, farewell, you old rhinoceros,
I'll stare at something less prepoceros.

The Eel

I don't mind eels
Except as meals.

L

tom.d.stiller · Post by **tom.d.stiller** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 3:27 am

Well friends, Rowmen, etc, I was just about to add T. S. Eliot's "Hippopotamus" to this animal collection, but since it is too long, too deep, too heavy, and could start a religious war, I'll post it in the "Other Poetry" section...

One more Belloc instead? About a beast that weighs much less than a Rhino or a Hippopotamus? Okay...

The microbe

The microbe is so very small
You cannot make it out at all,
But many sanguine people hope
To see him through a microscope.
His jointed tongue that lies beneath
A hundred curious rows of teeth;
His seven tufted tails with lots
Of lovely pink and purple spots,
On each of which a pattern stands,
Composed of forty separate bands;
His eyebrows of a tender green;
All these have never yet been seen -
But scientists who, ought to know,
Assure us that they must be so....
Oh ! Let us never, never doubt
What nobody is sure about.

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:39 am

What A Tangled Web

I figure-8
the number of legs
this seamstress
extraordinaire maintains.
Ambidextrously spinning
a grocery store
and a home with sheer curtains.

Kitty, Kitty

Pussyfoot
'cross the
curtain rod high
Slip and you
Fall-
Kitty, Kitty
Bye,
Bye.

L. (p.s. theSe are by Me

)

Insanitor · Post by **Insanitor** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 9:28 am

whacky doo
who are you
where is my shoe
i need the loo

who said that
did I put out the cat
what is this hat
why the cooking fat

Joe Way · Post by **Joe Way** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 6:55 pm

Ogden Nash makes me think of another clever poet of "nonsense" rhyme-Dorothy Parker. A couple of my favorites of her's:

"I like to have a martini,
two at the very most.
after three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host!"

"Resum‚
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live."

Joe

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:13 pm

Very clever ones, Joe! Is this the Dorothy Parker, the great, black, jazz and blues singer from the [Thirties?]?

Critic2 · Post by **Critic2** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:46 am

where is that critic2 geezer? surely he is back from Miami by now? and what did he do there?

I tell you, he wouldn't stand for any of this nonsense rhyme nonsense.

death to nonsense rhymes.

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:49 am

C2-
Welcome back from "that dolphin-torn, that gong-tormented sea."

When a survey asks: "Have you ever kissed a dolphin?" unlike most of us, you can sigh and say, "Yes."

I tell you, he wouldn't stand for any of this nonsense rhyme nonsense.

Hmm, try sitting or laying down....Better?

L

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 4:05 am

I want to see the pictures! The things we miss when we live too close ~ now that it's mega expensive [or not allowed

], someone I know just goes and samhell does it~!

Are you still there? Welcome back, or welcome here ~ whichever fits, kiss it

~ since you're already in the mode

.

Pete · Post by **Pete** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 9:20 pm

I had a little brain cell
it liked to be alone
which wasn't very difficult
it was the only one at home

Pete

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 11:23 pm

Pete your posts number LOOK AT IT

Byron · Post by **Byron** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:35 am

"Aaaaagh......aaaaagh........it's him!!!! run for yer lives........aarrgh!!! hide the women and children!!!........and kittens!!!! ...aaagh......."

If you have been affected by any of the issues in this evenings posting, tough sh1t!

Strewth, and Paula was on about them spirituleist thingies! Run! get out, don't wait to slam the taxi door!!!!!!!

it's him, it's him......Albert!! gird up yer loins lad and run for yer life.

Me milks just curdled, the cat's hidin' behind me best net curtains and the neighbours ave' called the clinic. It's him I tell you....it's him.

Quick Pete, put another post in before it's too late! We're doooomed, we're doooomed....

Pete · Post by **Pete** » Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:54 am

no I won't Byron

pete

damn