Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 1:28 am
Gotcha! 
I scream
you scream
we all scream
for a leonard dream
Page 6 of 6
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 6:31 am
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 8:09 am
I'll not stand for it,
I'll not sit for it,
Extend a hand for it
Nor a whit for it!
One more to score a bore.
Symbolise
Disguise as a prize
Symbolised as wise.
Idealise a guise
To mythologize
And improvise by
Sly propagandize.
Baptise and exorcise,
Stylize, theologise
Abscise and catechise,
Aggrandize, barstadize,
Idolise, symbolise
And anthropomorphise.
Evangelise, idealise,
Ritualise, supervise,
Canonise, proselytise,
Legitimise and likewise
Judaise or Christianise,
Islamise, apotheosize.
Liberalize and naturalise
Don't euphemise or victimise.
Syllogise, demythologise
So unwise to platitudinize
Syncretise and dehypnotize
Actualize, Universalize.
Cheers, Witty.
"When you lose your sense of humour
Then next you lose respect"...
I'll not sit for it,
Extend a hand for it
Nor a whit for it!
One more to score a bore.
Symbolise
Disguise as a prize
Symbolised as wise.
Idealise a guise
To mythologize
And improvise by
Sly propagandize.
Baptise and exorcise,
Stylize, theologise
Abscise and catechise,
Aggrandize, barstadize,
Idolise, symbolise
And anthropomorphise.
Evangelise, idealise,
Ritualise, supervise,
Canonise, proselytise,
Legitimise and likewise
Judaise or Christianise,
Islamise, apotheosize.
Liberalize and naturalise
Don't euphemise or victimise.
Syllogise, demythologise
So unwise to platitudinize
Syncretise and dehypnotize
Actualize, Universalize.
Cheers, Witty.
"When you lose your sense of humour
Then next you lose respect"...
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:07 am
AMEN!Andrew McGeever wrote: Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:12 am
Dear J Wittsomewise, I have never seen so many izes written wiv a z, instead of an s. The mother country of the glorious and magnificent Brutish Empie ( 
) has been a bastion of preservation of the s in ises and will ever remain so there! 
Albert! pass me my trusty sward of Enguland and let us ride to the sound of the Goons. 
) has been a bastion of preservation of the s in ises and will ever remain so there! Albert! pass me my trusty sward of Enguland and let us ride to the sound of the Goons. Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:36 pm
On the Ning Nang Nong
On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
And the Monkeys all say Boo!
Theres a Nang Nong Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the Mice go Clang!
And you just cant catch em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong!
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning!
Trees go Ping!
Nong Ning Nang!
The mice go Clang!
What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!
Spike Milligan - from Silly Verse for Kids, 1968
On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
And the Monkeys all say Boo!
Theres a Nang Nong Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the Mice go Clang!
And you just cant catch em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong!
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning!
Trees go Ping!
Nong Ning Nang!
The mice go Clang!
What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!
Spike Milligan - from Silly Verse for Kids, 1968
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 1:25 pm
Hey folks,
just to prove I'm sick but not dead yet, here's something I wanna dedicate to the greatest Wayne Gretzky Fan on this board:
Aardvark
by "Weird" Al Yankovic
The Aardvark is really a curious creature
If you're an ant then he's likely to eat ya
Although his long nose makes him look rather hideous
He's still listed first in the "encyclopedius"
Witty, if I can trust my cotton-woolish mind, did some research on that cozy, nosy creature...
Another one to bite the dust:
Amoeba
by "Weird" Al Yankovic
The amoeba is so small you needa microscope to see one
It hurts the eyes, but I'll concede, I'd rather see then be one
They never sing or laugh or talk or eat fondu or quiche
And if you take one for a walk you need a tiny leash
I know the thing must have a brain although I couldn't tell you where
It sure must be an awful pain to be so unicellular
And one more for the road:
Unicorn
by "Weird" Al Yankovic
The unicorn is just a horse
Accepting for its horn, of course
The unicorn is just a myth
Which is to say, they don't exith
Reckon I see y'all later, folks.
tom
just to prove I'm sick but not dead yet, here's something I wanna dedicate to the greatest Wayne Gretzky Fan on this board:
Aardvark
by "Weird" Al Yankovic
The Aardvark is really a curious creature
If you're an ant then he's likely to eat ya
Although his long nose makes him look rather hideous
He's still listed first in the "encyclopedius"
Witty, if I can trust my cotton-woolish mind, did some research on that cozy, nosy creature...
Another one to bite the dust:
Amoeba
by "Weird" Al Yankovic
The amoeba is so small you needa microscope to see one
It hurts the eyes, but I'll concede, I'd rather see then be one
They never sing or laugh or talk or eat fondu or quiche
And if you take one for a walk you need a tiny leash
I know the thing must have a brain although I couldn't tell you where
It sure must be an awful pain to be so unicellular
And one more for the road:
Unicorn
by "Weird" Al Yankovic
The unicorn is just a horse
Accepting for its horn, of course
The unicorn is just a myth
Which is to say, they don't exith
Reckon I see y'all later, folks.
tom
Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 1:47 pm
Two explorers were in the jungle. They were discussing how lazy their porters were. Suddenly they were confronted by a very large aardvark. One explorer was quite frightened, but his colleague told him not to worry because, "aarvark never hurt anybody."
Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 10:40 am
Okay, but did anyone ask the explorer's aunt 
Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:07 pm
Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 1:07 pm
Dear Iron(y) Byron(hee), I humbly apologis(z)e for this gross, indecent mutilation of da Queen's English. 
In my haste to complete the offending rhyme I used a rhyming dictionary of U.S. origins and so some of the blame must lay with the ignoramus publisher.
I shall in due course refer to my trusty 'Concise Oxford...' and attempt to remedy the sins with ye olde editing exercis(z)e.
Thank you for your scholarly concern and I shall be more seriously attentive to correct language use out of respect for the 'muverland' and my anglo ancestors. Also please extend my sincere apologies to Albert and hope he soon recovers from the obscenity of such a shock.
Respeccfully yours, the owlish bushwhacker.
Should my edit still reveal anglo errors please inform me of the correct spellllllings so as not t' offend 'er majesty.
Having done the editing thing this business is getting up my s i n i s e s!
The Oxford Concise.. gives the ises and the izes on most of these words as legit. alter-natives. So is there a grammatical rule as to when one should use (uze) which word ending in which circumstance??? 
Or should one simply surrender to the relentless Americanization of all cultures.
In my haste to complete the offending rhyme I used a rhyming dictionary of U.S. origins and so some of the blame must lay with the ignoramus publisher. I shall in due course refer to my trusty 'Concise Oxford...' and attempt to remedy the sins with ye olde editing exercis(z)e.
Thank you for your scholarly concern and I shall be more seriously attentive to correct language use out of respect for the 'muverland' and my anglo ancestors. Also please extend my sincere apologies to Albert and hope he soon recovers from the obscenity of such a shock. Respeccfully yours, the owlish bushwhacker.
Should my edit still reveal anglo errors please inform me of the correct spellllllings so as not t' offend 'er majesty.
Having done the editing thing this business is getting up my s i n i s e s!
The Oxford Concise.. gives the ises and the izes on most of these words as legit. alter-natives. So is there a grammatical rule as to when one should use (uze) which word ending in which circumstance???
Or should one simply surrender to the relentless Americanization of all cultures.
Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 12:31 am
Pete- Loved your brain cell poem!!
Witty-my mental tongue is twisted-ized!!
tom-I've always enjoyed Weird Al's songs...didn't know he did silly poems too! Very funny.
L
Witty-my mental tongue is twisted-ized!!
tom-I've always enjoyed Weird Al's songs...didn't know he did silly poems too! Very funny.
L
Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:31 am
They're from his album "Peter and the Wolf".LaurieAK wrote:tom-I've always enjoyed Weird Al's songs...didn't know he did silly poems too! Very funny.
tom
Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:57 am
Back to our zoo...
Vachel Lindsay - The Lion
The Lion is a kingly beast.
He likes a Hindu for a feast.
And if no Hindu he can get,
The lion-family is upset.
He cuffs his wife and bites her ears
Till she is nearly moved to tears.
Then some explorer finds the den
And all is family peace again.
Vachel Lindsay - The Lion
The Lion is a kingly beast.
He likes a Hindu for a feast.
And if no Hindu he can get,
The lion-family is upset.
He cuffs his wife and bites her ears
Till she is nearly moved to tears.
Then some explorer finds the den
And all is family peace again.
Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:40 pm
And while we are taking a stroll through the zoo.
The Lama
The one l lama he's a priest,
The two l llama he's a beast,
And I'll bet a silk pyjama
There isn't any three l lllama.
Ogden Nash.
A Lame-brain limerick by yours truly:-
The old scribe sets his text to the computer,
Thinking, could this technology be any cuter?
But it drives me to drink
When quick as a wink,
It all crashes when the entry don't suit 'er.
Witty.
The Lama
The one l lama he's a priest,
The two l llama he's a beast,
And I'll bet a silk pyjama
There isn't any three l lllama.
Ogden Nash.
A Lame-brain limerick by yours truly:-
The old scribe sets his text to the computer,
Thinking, could this technology be any cuter?
But it drives me to drink
When quick as a wink,
It all crashes when the entry don't suit 'er.
Witty.