Daddy's Little Princess.

[Violet]

.. I did deserve that.. I have to be more on guard with this stuff when talking to you -- I mean, you're tops in this department.. (and I think that might be a mistake to say as well)..

.. "wanky".. I love that..

[Karren B]

What are you doing here at this time of night or is it morning...

you know I think you may be a bad influence on me!!!!!!

You know what they say...'You make the bullets and i'll fire them'........

Kissy K
xxxx

[Violet]

.. closing nicely with Hitch's insomnia remedy..

[Karren B]

Well it is an answer...maybe not the right one but an answer anyway!

Sleep well sweet violet...Sweet dreams!

Kissy K
xxxx

[Gerry]

Now Now Ladies
Some decorum! We are in Cumalot you know!
Someone has to keep order around here and Lovely Lady K, have you no duties to fulfil tonight?
You know what happens when you dont fulfil them, dont you?!

King G

[Violet]

Well it is an answer...maybe not the right one but an answer anyway!

Sleep well sweet violet...Sweet dreams!

Kissy K
xxxx

.. night, Kissy K.. that was one wanker of a conversation.. there. I think I took a bad thing, and made it better..

.. [xx]..

.. oh, and kingly.. in answer to your query (as kissy k. might be asleep) I assume what happens is you'll need a good wank..

v. x

[Karren B]

You know I always fulfil my duties where you're concerned Sire! (with great pleasure!).

I'll wait for you in your chambers!

Lady k
xxxx

[Gerry]

Ha!Ha! Princess Violet,
She's not asleep..she never sleeps!

Be there in a jiffy, Lady K!!

King G

[Violet]

.. alright, well, while those two are.. (wanking each other off??).. I would add, that while we Americans have the expression "jerk off".. it doesn't even remotely enjoy the popularity that "wanker" seems to in brit land.. now why this is, I'm not entirely sure.. I mean, generally speaking, my impression is that you brits think Americans to be bigger jerk offs than even you wanker brits are.. so.. it shall remain a mystery, it seems..

.. (which nicely brings us back to that cinematic wanker of suspense)..

[Cate]

I don't have anything to contribute to this but I just wanted to say that the three of you left me smiling with this - very funny and witty.

[Violet]

My dearest Lordship,

Well, I'm up bright 'n early, after all that stimulating conversation we
had around here last night.. I'm always amazed you brits are up and half
done with your work day, when I've only just rolled out of bed.. but then,
you are the vanquished empire, and so need to work harder than us, is all..
Anyway.. I’ve decided I really do wank off far too much in these premises,
whilst (yes, I said “whilst”) I really should be.. hmm.. I’m already running
out of common britishisms.. but the point is, I am making progress, even
if I am a bit wanky still on “wanker”..
.. funny enough, I used the term “wanker” (and correctly) when I first
started posting here, although I don’t remember why, exactly.. I think I
had that evil "Lorca" character use it.. anyway, it was enough to cause
Cate to think that I was, in fact, you at that point (!).. (do you remember
that Cate?.. oh, that’s right, you're not supposed to be reading this)..
(never mind)..
.. anyway, you should be proud of me, my lord, given I nixed the idea of
posting a little youtube production called “Willy Wanker and the Jerk Off
Factory," even though the title alone so nicely encompasses our two cultures,
and you seldom see that, I find.. (but believe me, it’s a load of "cack".. (??)..
(not sure about that one).. Oh, in furthering my research into said matters..
(you see, I do intend on doing as I promised, and learning these awkward
brit expressions, just for you, my lord -- oh, along with my converting, of
course.. so long as you make good on the Strumpet and Pink panties presents,
which I feel is a fair exchange)..
.. speaking of.. I just came upon: Alan Whickers.. which of course caught
my eye, given it’s a name for knickers, which is of course your far inferior
word for our much preferable “panties”.. I mean, you have to at least admit
that “panties” out strips “knickers” any day of the week, don’t you think?
You know, we Americans think of knickers as these very stupid looking
trousers that come down to about the knee.. now, how that could be
construed as dainty, pretty “panties,” I mean.. I think I rest my case.. (of
pretty pink panties, that is)..
.. now.. oh, and I’m just now finding out that "plonker" in brit land is
actually a penis.. and that “playing the pink oboe” is something Lady Kissy K.
has been doing a lot of lately.. but now I think I’m getting a bit obsure..
I mean, how frequently do you think I’d need to use such an expression?..
then again, it could sound quite polite at a dinner party or something when
you wouldn’t want to be too explicit, I mean.. Of course, if I hadn’t just
done my homework I myself would be totally lost should such an expression
come up, and I’d probably stick my foot in it.. (which actually is something I
intend on doing to you at said dinner parties, under the table, I mean -- with
my “pointies,” in fact.. no, maybe just my stocking’d foot).. I’m just giving
you fair warning.. I mean, you shouldn’t have to skip a beat, I wouldn’t think,
as long as you saw it coming.. actually, you wouldn’t actually see it coming,
but.. (do you think that porn weekend has changed me somehow??).. oh, and
I’m still rather confused as to how “plonk,” which apparently is some inferior
sort of wine, becomes a penis just with the addition of an “er”.. Now,
“pocket rocket,” meanwhile, I’m well acquainted with, but only because that’s
the name of the, uh.. hmm.. (this might be a bit embarrassing to disclose, and
yet this is a private letter, is it not?).. anyway, it’s the name of my little pink..
handy dandy.. carry along.. well, okay, vibrator.. (how embarrassing).. Actually,
though, to tell you the truth, I’m not a fan of the vibration part. I mean, it’s..
well, weird, I think.. I mean, it doesn’t simulate at all a man’s.. plonker, let’s
say.. and so.. (I’m really getting bad, aren’t I? I mean, shouldn’t the moderators,
at the very least Henning, stop this sort of debaucherous banter, educational
though it may be?).. oh, and speaking of dinner parties,“plate” I learned is to
give fellatio (or to “fellate”), though I’m not at all sure how to use the word..
“Let me get you your plate, dear”.. sounds innocent enough.. but now that I
know you brits can’t leave table settings alone, it seems, I’d be down to nothing
but knickers about my knees, and under the table, probably, in no time.. (that
wasn’t too bad.. you have to admit, my lord.. I am getting twigged to such talk,
aren’t I?).. anyway, my biggest fear with all of it, is that I’ll somehow screw up
(which is both an American and brit expression, as it happens) and have you get
on your wick about it… when I’d far rather have you get the horn.. (I have to
admit that's preferable to the term "horny”, which somehow rubs me the wrong
way, believe it or not)..
.. well, I’m assuming you’re not a gasper.. [1900-ish word for smoker], though I
imagine you might get a build on now and then.. just the impression I get.. though,
actually, I do neither.. (the latter makes me rather paranoid, in fact -- that, and
strobe lighting, I found out.. especially when accompanied by close-ups of a three-
in-put blow-up doll in full use)..
.. alright, well, I guess I have to get a wriggle on..
.. I do hope I’ve impressed you with my determination (at the very least) to master
your utterly ridiculous language.. ohmugod, I forgot “shagging”.. oh, and the ever
popular among[st] you brits: “bugger off”.. Now, here in the states, shagging
conjures the 70’s shag rug, which, in fact, withstood a lot of shagging, no doubt..
and so I’m not too sure why the expression doesn’t catch on here.. but "bugger off"
probably doesn’t catch on, since we have this peurile thing about nose picking.. and
yes, I'm afraid the word “buggers” is a part of that whole mess.. so.. not sure there’s
much to be done about that.. though, speaking for myself, I’m sure I can throw in
the nose picking allusion for good measure when I tell a real wanker to go and bugger
off.. (I'm very improvisational that way.. and, anyway, who's to say that's not what
you brits are talking about with that expression in the first place??)..
.. Well, I guess I’ll end here with another mention of our dinner parties, my Lordship,
as they seem already to be very tainted affairs.. Now, I would have thought “table ender”
would be some sort of brass candle stick or something, when in fact, well.. it seems it’s
something you might do to me once the guests had left.. (at least I thought they’d
gone.. darling… are you sure we should be ?).. oh, and so you'd be "table ending" me..
(gosh, I guess that little footsie game I was playing with you under the table earlier
really stoked your plonker, huh?)..

ever,
your studious little v i o le t (stem).. xxx x (is there an accent, by the way, that you'd
prefer me to have? as I have access to a very good brit-dialect coach.. the Sheffield
accent sounds quite lovely, for example.. quaint, but not too thick, I find) (something
to maybe down play your "Jackson Pollocks," for example.. an expression which might
otherwise sound too high brow without a little local coloring)..
.. (still missing you).. xx






.. edits.. I keep changing the font size.. thought I should go easier on the eyes and go with my traditional
"small" font, as opposed to "very small".. though I'd been running out of vellum, as you may recall.. and so..

[Violet]

End part of above letter:

.. oh, and speaking of your Jackson Pollocks, my lord.. I forgot bollocks (!).. (ee gad!)..
(oh, and love your rhyming slang, by the way.. though that last rhyme doesn't exactly count)..
hmm.. again speaking of your Jackson Pollocks.. I see here (in my little book of brit slang) that
although you [incomprehensibly] claim not to like tea [really?? a brit??].. I somehow think you'd
be a fan of tea-bagging, nevertheless.. (or at least having your tea bags.. oh, never mind)..
(anyway, just be glad I'm not necessarily dedicated to conventional steeping).. xx

[kwills]

Dear Violet when you say "wanky" don't you mean "wonky"?

Anyway never mind, I just thought I'd drop by and show you some dance moves I've been learning in my very little spare time,just in case we need to entertain some important people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXcYiV638VE

[Violet]

.. well, I'm glad to see you're improving your improvisational skills.. so important to this line of work.. you have to keep 'em guessing, kw-- uh, bond bon.. lest they might take you for an itty bitty baby or something..

.. as for "wanky".. you can blame Lady Kiss K. for that.. or, well, that friend of hers who says that anything at all fishy seeming is "wanky".. (not wonky)..

.. or, no, I guess you can blame me, as I was trying to get a grip on things.. (as it were).. (so to speak)..

Alright, we'll reconvene later on MISSION OBLITERATE MI6.. We'll have to see what bomber you'll be piloting, as I haven't looked into it yet.. anyway, I'm sure we'll find something..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q4TmD0yZ_k&feature=fvsr
FULL SCREEN..

Signed,
b.b.'s intrepid boss,
M.

[Violet]

.. hmm.. maybe we should go back to the B-2, actually..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-yYHdlk ... =1&index=7
FULL SCREEN..

.. (that's a lot of thrust, my lord)..