Daddy's Little Princess.

[Violet]

.. kw-- uh, devil baby.. bond.. bon.. I'm glad I can't remember your birth (let alone your name).. (must have been the drugs they injected me with).. but your conception was, well, a nightmare.. oh, and talk about furries.. (couldn't resist that one)..

.. anyway, I just dipped my toe into "real" exorcist stories on youtube, and, tell you the truth, the material is just so grizzly and evil seeming, I'm not sure I'm quite up to it right now, so I'm thinking that maybe the ghost of Queen Cate can put you in one of those detainment cages in that evilish basement of hers until I feel a bit sturdier.. from there you can splatter green goo, and try to seduce Pussy Galore all you like..

.. (gosh.. this "fighting evil" business is gonna take some preparation, I think)..

.. [to be continued].. [though it might take a while]..

I thought I was the only horny one round here?...

Kissy K
xx

.. (Lady Kissy K.. rest assured, I don't think you have anything to worry about in, well, that department)..

[Violet]

A CUMALOT ASIDE:

.. okay.. I'm back in the city, finally, after a very tiring four-day weekend in the country (which is why one makes a point of getting out of the city, after all).. Now, probably due to this insomnia streak I've been championing, it all ended with flu-like symptoms, which set in some time Sunday.. Fortunately for me, however, there exists this itsy bitsy health food store up there in the middle of godforsaken nowhere, where they just happen to sell my herbal tincture remedy, which is actually hard to find even in the city.. Oh, and the woman proprietor was so impressed that I knew of this remedy (she swears by it herself, you see) that she could barely contain her excitement.. (there's not much else going on up there, I'm afraid).. Oh, also.. given the flu-ishness I was fighting.. I wound up on the couch, randomly watching inane cable t.v... (something I never do, actually).. However, the good news is: I learned something new.. something I thought I'd share should some of you be planning something along these lines.. in which case.. well, you'll see..

.. okay, here goes:

CHIMPANZEES MAKE TERRIBLE HOUSE PETS

(AND HERE'S THE REASON WHY):

.. (no, this is not about furries, as it happens.. although, it may well be "infurred")..

OKAY, so.. here you are an innocent couple thinking: hey, instead of having children, honey, why don't we try raising a chimp instead??.. (sounds reasonable enough).. okay, so.. you go out and get an adorable baby chimp.. you diaper him, and cloth him in just the cutest little (human) baby outfits.. you feed him his bottle.. (just like we do with kwills).. (when he's not vomiting green stuff, that is).. you burp him.. you feed him.. you find he clings to you, just like an infant.. oh, and those adorable brown eyes, so full of human expression.. oh, and he kisses you, even -- just like an adorable baby kisses his mamma and pappa..

.. and.. (as he gets bigger).. he sits with you at breakfast, sweetly eating his cereal as you read the morning paper.. And if you landed yourself a really smart chimp, why, he can even make you a peanut butter sandwich.. or do the laundry, even.. why.. if he's really really smart.. he can even drive a car.. (??).. (probably not such a good idea).. (though could be an improvement over a lot of New York drivers).. (don't get me started)..

.. so, anyway.. you and your little chimp are living happily ever after, as it were........... until............ : PUBERTY.

.. [Hitchcockian suspenseful-climactic music]..

.. okay, so.. we all know that teenagers can be difficult. Yes, they act out. Yes, they do all kinds of drugs, and just the stupidest things sometimes.. (though they're stupid enough to be putting these things on Facebook, so it's fairly easy to suss them out).. Yes, they rebel sometimes.. they:

.. flip out, bite your nose and lips off, bite off your thumbs.. tear out your limbs and ravage your genitals, leaving you as nothing but a bloody, hacked-up pile of flesh.. possibly still alive.

.. oh, wait -- that's what your adorable chimp might do.. (once he becomes a teenager, that is).

You know, I had no idea chimps grew to be 150 pds.. And they are extremely strong. The cable show I was watching covered quite a few harrowing tales about what had happened to these poor chimp parents once the cherished youngster grew up and something unexpectedly set the beloved "child" off. This one poor woman, who'd raised her cherished chimp since his infancy, had just lost her husband.. this followed by the death her young adult daughter, who died in a car accident.. and.. well, it seems these chimps pick up on distress, etc.. and one day he started acting edgy.. stole the house keys.. got outside.. started acting erratically.. So, the panicked woman called her friend, who also knew this chimp since his infancy. The friend arrived, and the chimp proceeded to get her to the ground and bite her face off, whereupon the chimp owner got a shovel, hit him hard -- several times, in fact -- on the head.. (which didn't do a thing).. then she got a knife -- knifed him in the back -- whereupon he turned away from his victim, looked a her a moment, then continued with the attack.. and when the police finally arrived, even after the chimp was shot, he still was able to run into the house where finally........ he died.

.. (this is actually reminding me of the final sequence of Brian De Palma's Scarface)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dr2z0qGYJco
FULL SCREEN.. a bit pixilated, I'm afraid..

.. anyway, NOW can you see why I don't condone random cable t.v. watching?

[kwills]

Oh! what do we do to these poor animals?

[Violet]

.. you know, here I was thinking that giving birth to devil spawn was this great big tragedy.. when, in fact, you're actually looking very manageable.. by way of comparison, I mean..

.. well, kw-- uh, baby bond bon.. this violent behavior is obviously hardwired into these creatures, given it's not something they are being exposed to when raised among humans (well, except those who've been exposed to most Hollywood movies).. Anyway, it seems what they really need is a wild sort of habitat, given that, while not all chimps will act out this way, it's still rather like a game of Russian Roulette for the caretakers.. (thus the main title of my last post).. Of course, I think even raising little baby scarface would turn out to border on such a problem, so humans present these issues as well.

S.P.V. (fl.).. (Expert Behaviorist).. (oh, and Scarface fan)..

[Karren B]

Dear Violet (Expert Behaviorist)

So in your expert oppinion do you think we could have similar problems with baby bond...I have noticed he is starting to play up a bit...Oooh and those horns are a bit of a giveaway...and to think he hasn't reached puberty yet!!!!

So glad he's not my problem...never mind violet i'm sure you'll sort him out...

Kissy K...
xx

[kwills]

Dear Violet,

Please don't listen to Kissy K she speaks with forked tongue!

Untitled.png (7.79 KiB) Viewed 1739 times

Remember two prongs don't make a right!

[Karren B]

Oooh lickle kwills you are getting very clever, have you been taking lessons?

You are right two prongs don't make a right but they make a damn good fork for prodding naughty little devils with!!!!

Kissy K (Sharpening her fork and stoking the fire)
xx

[kwills]

Oh my!....is....that....what....I .....think it is......between your legs?!

[Karren B]

Well it might look like a tail but actually it's the end of the whip i carry in my belt...to keep unruly little devils in line...

Kissy K (I'm an angel really)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3_Q96eJr1k

[Violet]

.. kw-- uh, devil.. baby.. thing.. ee.. what the HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?.. oh, and does this mean you ARE a girl??..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbfnWc7vVco
FULL SCREEN..

.. (this gets so confusing, and I was thinking of doing your room up in blue too.. guess it's back to the yellow, then.. less committal)..

ALRIGHT.. I admit it: ever since I read something (fairly convincing, actually) allegedly about REAL exorcisms.. well, the subject sort of creeps me out.. Yes, I did rather bring this upon myself, but only because I think of Rosemary's Baby as one of the best movies ever made.. so, what's a cinephile to do?.. I guess I should blame it on Roman.. oh, and those dream sequences belonging to Rosemary.. (best ever filmed, I think)..

.. actually, speaking of exorcisms.. here’s one I can put some backing into.. oh, with a few minor (well major) omissions/misconceptions.. (which I’ll go into later)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxeZeiaEN_k
FULL SCREEN..

Here! here!..

.. okay, Jesse, but, REPULSION (Catherine Deneuve’s first film) is this highly subjectively conceived, accurate dissection of a psychotic break (according to one psychiatrist).. it’s a stunning film (not just "not bad").. and FRANTIC (Harrison Ford ) is an excellent Roman-romantic [Roman: as in Polanski] suspense thriller.. Oh, and you forgot BITTER MOON.. soooooooo FANTASTIC.. (and the only film I know of that makes good use of Peter Coyote).. Oh.. and the breathtaking TESS (with an Ingrid Bergmanesque Nastassia Kinski).. Also: the psychologically loaded DEATH AND THE MAIDEN (a ruthless drama with Sigourney Weaver, which would make a nice double-feature with Liliani Cavani's THE NIGHT PORTER).. OH, and I disagree: Roman's OLIVER TWIST is quite good.. he built the entire Dickensian city, and it’s exquisite.. Oh, and Jesse, it's not a "remake," but a classic.. (geez).. However, I do agree wholeheartedly about THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS.. it’s the best, and I normally don't like the genre.. it’s beautiful, and sweet, and very very funny.. (poor Sharon, though).. (Tate, I mean).. Oh, and I agree: THE PIANIST is one of those rare Oscar winning films that actually is Oscar worthy.. (interesting to see Roman confront the demons head on, finally -- hmm.. maybe that's the Nazis and Hollywood).. Oh, and yes: KNIFE ON THE WATER got this cinematic legend off to an outstanding start.. Add to that, CUL-DE-SAC.. (uniquely Roman).. But my god: YOU FORGOT "THE TENANT"????.. (oy).. Anyway, sadly, GHOST WRITER (not "Ghost") (??) (with Ewan McGregor) turned out to be a disappointment.. as did NINTH GATE (such a waste of Johnny Depp).. and PIRATES.. (should have been funny, with Walter Matthau as a peg-legged pirate).. Actually, there's another tanker in there, can't remember the name.. but really, who's quibbling?.. (Glad the Swiss defied the States in this case, actually.. Roman must have friends in very high places.. If only he could come back to Hollywood and make something as good as CHINATOWN.. if only.. that would show 'em)..

.. [sigh]..

Sweet Sister Violet (flower).. [Expert Cinema Exorcist]..

AMEN.

.. [hmm.. I realize I've not gone into Roman's case (though the grievousness of the crime is not in question).. however, there is a 2008 documentary called "Wanted and Desired," which does bring out the hypocrisies involved, and explains why Polanski fled]..

LATER NOTE: I actually neglected to mention one very significant Polanski film, which I will tend to later on on this godforsaken thread..

[kwills]

Hmmm..try this for Kissy k A.K.A THE SHE DEVIL!(I mean just look at her tongue!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZLfOm9pq3A&NR=1

[Violet]

WARNING: WE HAVE NOW OFFICIALLY MET OUR QUOTA FOR GREEN PROJECTILE VOMIT.. (OR CHARTREUSE.. OR ANYTHING IN THAT VICINITY, IN OTHER WORDS).. (OH, AND DON'T THINK YOU GET EXTRA VOMIT POINTS FOR PARODY, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T).. ANYWAY, SHOULD MORE GREEN PROJECTILE VOMIT BE IN EVIDENCE -- WELL, THEN, I'M TELLING.. (JARKKO, PROBABLY).. SO: WISE UP.

One Pissed Off Princess

[Violet]

.. now.. back to our regularly scheduled program..


The Tower After Atonement

You know, I haven’t written much for Bill Shakespeare lately, and so I was thinking that maybe it was time I write a comedy -- you know, to try and cheer things up a bit back here in this dankish time period.. anyway, here's my working title so far: MacBeth.. (we’ll see how that one turns out)..

.. hmm.. what else..

.. let’s see.. now there’s kw—uh baby bond bon, who we found out is my devil-spawn son, who sometimes doubles as Linda Blair.. (or actors pretending to be Linda Blair).. and even though Lady Kissy K. is doing her best to control him, uh, her-- im right now, I do realize I’m supposed to figure out how to do some sort of exorcism so that I might at least get him to where he was before the story line took this dreadful turn.. Of course, I could just do a re-write.. maybe something like: “He was born a rank homunculus.. but once he got his quiff going, oh and the itty bitty sun glasses, he actually turned out to be a pretty nice guy, after all. Who knew?"

There. End of Chapter 1.

Actually, maybe it’s true that I’m still a bit wobbly, since I usually relish a good wholehearted fling at pure evil, now that I come think about it..

.. so.. maybe I’m still up inside that Tower of Atonement, after all..

.. which is why it might make sense that this song's refrain rather drew me in.. I guess it’s that sometimes you feel as though things have gotten rather stripped down to where you’re left to confront yourself alone, outside of all other considerations almost..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffdAz2tf-J4
FULL SCREEN..


"That I Would Be Good"

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you

Alanis Morissette

[kaye]

Its so nice i almost cried. Keep it up.

[Karren B]

Nice one kwills, you've pissed off the boss.... That last clip of yours did push the projectile vomit quota over the top....(and may I add very disrespectful to the future queen of Cumalot!)...And the King hasn't forgotten the comment about not being able to keep Kissy K satisfied...I think he wanted a word with you about that!...And whats wrong with my tongue?

Hey Princess Violet...up there in the tower! This little devil of yours is being very disrespectful to the future queen and I don't seem to be able to keep him under control! Maybe you could send him to I.F for a while? Although the King did mention something to me about getting a guillotine for the village green, so maybe kwills would like to be the first to try it out? ....Ooooh imagine the damage it would do to that little quiff!...
What ever happens he needs taking in hand!....or totally rewriting.

Hope it's not too cold in the tower. I will send the King up with some more blankets and let us know if you run out of paper...or writing quills!

Loved the Alanis Morissette clip.

Kissy K (future queen. That reminds me I must go and untie...er..wake up the King so he can get fitted for his wedding suit and take violet some blankets)
xx