leonardcohenforum.com

I am now welcoming applications to join this new sub-group, formed in the interests of cohesiveness, harmony, fraternity/sorority, and causing trouble.

It is not essential that we are friends, after all I am aiming for a membership in excess of 2.

Please apply, enclosing passport and 2 recent photographs, to Lord Mickey of One.

Applicants must show a touching, (but ultimately futile), desire to raise the standards of writing on this forum.


Member of the Poetry Forum Militant Wing

Hmmmmmm....
Do members get to carry loaded guns?
Do I have to know cpr?
What colour are the uniforms?
Is there an official "flower"?

Alan Alda wrote:Hmmmmmm....
Do members get to carry loaded guns?
Do I have to know cpr?
What colour are the uniforms?
Is there an official "flower"?

Dear Applicant

1. I will ask Hilary Clinton when she is elected President
2. mouth to mouth is sufficient
3. flowery, a beautiful mix of flowers
4. no way, I hate flowers

Lord Mickey of One

ps did I mention the joining fee?

Member of the Poetry Forum Military Wing

LMoO-

Thanks for the quick response. Please note I did not actually "apply" mine was strictly an inquiry regarding your militia.

I wonder if a more 'win-able' war would be to lower the standards of writing around here. With the bar set lower than an ant's balls, no one would be disappointed or disappointing. Think about it.

cheers,
Laurie

Michael you didn't answer regarding the uniform - what kind of pants? I don't like army boots - I don't want to carry a gun - but I don't mind holding someone else's.

opps came back to edit - flowery uniforms - that won't do - no-one looks good in a flower print - no offense if you happen to like wearing flowery prints.

Alan Alda wrote:LMoO-

Thanks for the quick response. Please note I did not actually "apply" mine was strictly an inquiry regarding your militia.

I wonder if a more 'win-able' war would be to lower the standards of writing around here. With the bar set lower than an ant's balls, no one would be disappointed or disappointing. Think about it.

cheers,
Laurie

Dear Dedicated and Persistent Applicant, I will be able to answer all your questions at our first Public Meeting. Details to follow.

Lord Mickey of One



Member of the Poetry Forum Militant Wing

ps I have considered your idea and rejected it outright as it offends against an important principle, (all details of which I have since forgotten, but as a colleague-with-arms i am convinced you will trust me).

Cate wrote:Michael you didn't answer regarding the uniform - what kind of pants? I don't like army boots - I don't want to carry a gun - but I don't mind holding someone else's.

Dear Provisional Applicant, you are showing signs of uncertainty. This apparent tendency to flip-flop may mean that you are a liability in the forthcoming War. In these sad circumstances I am not prepared to share any military secrets with you. However, by the kindness of my heart, I am willing to let you join the waiting list to hold my weapon.

Lord Mickey of One

Member of the Poetry Forum Militant Wing

Okay. Maybe I'll audit the first public meeting.
I loathe the 'soul' and 'love' and 'heart' intensive pieces of late.
I'm bringing my uzi in case anyone happens to mention any of those words, even in jest...

Now, I've got to go feed my ravens more bananas....(that olde story)

L

Alan Alda wrote:Okay. Maybe I'll audit the first public meeting.
I loathe the 'soul' and 'love' and 'heart' intensive pieces of late.
I'm bringing my uzi in case anyone happens to mention any of those words, even in jest...

Now, I've got to go feed my ravens more bananas....(that olde story)

L

those words are an alibi for laziness, the Uzi is too kind for the perps.

off to feed my bananas more ravens

Lord Mickey of One

Member of the Poetry Forum Militant Wing

I recently attended some kind of political gathering thingy. Our host was a poet, of sorts. She said at one point something like, "Those guys [at poetry slams] like to write about weird stuff like following the river and what not. I like to write about things that are more tangible, like love."

I couldn't think of anything nice to say.

I don't join clubs, but it seems that merely posting here gets you in, so there goes that.

The ants who have balls are the same ones who have wings. Lower than ant ovaries may be a better phrase. I know you're going to see this and get all bored with my science, or maybe you were serious, and just being sneaky about ant balls. If that is the case, good on you!

NOW, THIS IS IMPORTANT:
The only purpose male ants have is to screw the queen. Once a male does this, he dies. Males are only produced in mature colonies, where the energy expenditure to produce them can be absorbed. There are 12,000 species of ants.

ps. I think we should dress in pink/orange camouflage.

Will there be quizzes about ants?

ps. I think we should dress in pink/orange camouflage.

Definately, whenever meetings are held amongst a flock of flamingos.

Will there be quizzes about ants?

Only if there are also quizzes about ravens!

Alan Alda wrote:

Will there be quizzes about ants?

Only if there are also quizzes about ravens!

Wonderful! As flaming goes, I promise not to set any raven quizzes ablaze.

mickey_one wrote: Dear Provisional Applicant, you are showing signs of uncertainty. This apparent tendency to flip-flop may mean that you are a liability in the forthcoming War. In these sad circumstances I am not prepared to share any military secrets with you. However, by the kindness of my heart, I am willing to let you join the waiting list to hold my weapon.

Lord Mickey of One

Member of the Poetry Forum Militant Wing

Michael I must inform you that I am unpleased by your decision to designate me to a waiting list. If I had in fact applied to said military group I would withdraw my application out of protest.
As it stands I have decided to join a resistance movement in which people do not have to wear flowery uniforms and weapons are freely shared.
You seem like a nice enough guy though, Michael. I feel that I should warn you that any military secrets you may be holding might need to be extracted using various unconventional tactics.

I may be convinced to flip flop again if the pink and orange camouflage is approved.
Mana and Laurie you should consider the resistance movement if the uniform remains flowered - no one looks good in flowers.

Cate wrote:

might need to be extracted using various unconventional tactics.

In the movie version, Cate will be played by a beautiful actress with a certain 'crazy' look in her eyes. She may look sweet, but beneath the surface, lies a water-boarding terror dressed in a flowery muu-muu and army boots and she's not happy about it....

Of course, maybe I mis-read that altogether....In that case. Nevermind.

Laurie
(aka alan alda)