leonardcohenforum.com

Talking dirty (just being silly)

You can't believe how hot you make me
when you get that bbq going, the way you toss
that asparagus and dead cow around, Mmmm…

I feel wet when you slide those dishes into the sink
and rinse off all that gritty grim,
I like a man who’s not afraid to get a bit dirty.

My knees feel wobbly when you
sweep up the mess that the kids hid
under their chairs, instead of in their mouths.

You make me feel warm all over
as you help me fold the clothes from the dryer,
how bout we have a go at changing the sheets!?


removed unbelievably and some stuttering.

nice poem. Im afraid you wont dig your man if he gets in to deep with the household
Peter

Peter wrote:
Im afraid you wont dig your man if he gets in to deep with the household

Mmmmm... inspiration for an outdoorsy verse, Cate?

- nice poem.
no it's not, thank you though I just wanted to write something, as I was stuck not writing the something I wanted to write.

- Im afraid you wont dig your man if he gets in to deep with the household
ha! I'm poking fun a bit, because it's still fun to bug him. but really it is very sexy to come home, after a night or two away, to an already clean house
- much better then flowers btw.

- Mmmmm... inspiration for an outdoorsy verse, Cate?
Oh yeah, gardening seasons coming up - I could def. use someone who is good with a shovel.

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okay, I know this is totally weird but the below response are for the posts below this one. I didn't want to ignore, but I didn't want to bring to the top again either. (I want to post something else, but I don't want to post back to back)
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Violet wrote:... Lady Chatterley comes to mind...

... no, actually... her lover...

Ahh excellent you know somebody - does he do gardening by any chance.
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Hi Neanderthalman,

thanks for reading and commenting.

Welcome to the forum,

Cate

Just in case you read before, forget about the ants, think I figured it out.

... Lady Chatterley comes to mind...

... no, actually... her lover...

interesting piece of poetry - naughty, yet tastefully presented and with enough imagery to let someone's (mine) wander through it. Thanks...umm, I mean, shucks..

very naughty cate. but very nice imagery. you do the job.

It’s good to be silly on occasion especially when being creative as well as in writing poetry of course.
Enjoyed…thanks
Mm

http://www.mirrormist.com

A delayed thank you Woody and Mirrormist,

I have to admit silly is fun, as is pestering/teasing your spouse.

I'd put a red line through "unbelievably" in the 1st stanza,
and through one of the two "when you"s in the 3rd.
The poem then reads much more swiftly.

Which I suspect was why you did it
-- to obstruct the reading and delay the impact.

Why? Because you didn't think the poem was strong enough
or sophisticated enough by itself. So you felt you had to
"add value" (=meaningless word play = sophistication)

"But wait! That's not all! Buy now and we'll throw in
for free these two bits of gratuitous trivial word play
guaranteed to extend your pleasure by seconds
or your money back guaranteed!"
~~


But forza coragio. The poem is strong enough by itself.
And you can't gild a golden lily.

I agree with your feedback, Greg. Good tweaks. A question that keeps appearing for me is whether you, Cate, mean the "cloths" from the dryer or the "clothes" from the dryer. It seems you would mean the latter, but maybe not; or it may just be a typo. Every time I reread your poem [as people and you comment], I keep noticing it. There may be a difference in reference between the U.S. and Canada. Seems like you would've caught it by now; but I'll ask, anyway.


~ Lizzy

i meant to say the same thing myself, liz.
it's "clothes" not "cloths".

this is one of the very few words the spelling of which
i am a world class authority on. you can probably guess why.

~~
Cate -
id also put a red line through "(just being silly)" in the title, for the same reasons.

Like the song said: "stand by your man".

this is one of the very few words the spelling of which
i am a world class authority on. you can probably guess why.

So, YOU'RE SUE, the one who irons naked !?!
Why, Greg, I NEVER would have guessed!

So, YOU'RE Sue,

unfortunately not.

although there is a bit of Sue in all of us.
--and when i was 160lbs i was beautiful
- I could have been a contender, instead of a bum,
which is what I am, lets face it.
And although it wouldn't be right to limit the field
of other contenders, I am honestly not one of them.

No. I just happened to have misspelled "clothes" myself
that magic number 3 (thousand) times until I finally got it right.

Well it seems to me that Sue loves bums, so that might just be a clever word play designed to trick us up.

Clothes (almost did it again) was indeed a spelling mistake and the when you, when you was simply neglect. I've avoided re-reading it, so I missed the stuttering.

But forza coragio. The poem is strong enough by itself.
And you can't gild a golden lily.

Well thanks Greg. I'm going to come back a bit later because I want to give a better response, but first I'm going to have a nap which is probably a bad plan, but I don't want to fall asleep playing Chinese Checkers tonight.

skating story sent on